Don’t you hate when the real world interferes with what you’re trying to do on the Internet? Already my thoughts wax a tad nostalgic for the days when meatspace responsibilities didn’t encroach upon Quality Time spent with friends online. (This, of course, is my overwrought way of apologizing to the regulars who remain, for neglecting the devil out of this blog. Insert standard excuses here: work responsibilities blah blah social obligations et cetera daily errands blah blah paperwork.)
So I decided, “By God, I’m not only going to write a new blog post, I’m gonna do it Old School — you know, a current-events posting like from the days when I had free time.”
Thus did I go online in search of a Current Event about which to say something (hopefully) pithy. Hmm, here’s a possibility: the House of Representatives has passed a bill expanding hate-crime laws, and Bush has threatened to veto it.
Have I been offline that long? He wants to veto a bill that would penalize not criminal behavior itself (it’s already illegal to commit acts like murder or assault) but the thoughts people have whilst committing it?
I blinked. When the hell did the president start doing things I agree with? I gazed around in suspicion, seeking clues to indicate I’d slipped into a parallel universe where things are almost, but not quite, like my own reality. No: my clip file hasn’t changed and my bookcases hold the same contents. Can’t find any unfamiliar scars or (God forbid) tattoos on me. Bank balance identical and we’re still bogged down in Iraq, more’s the pity.
A few months ago when I went walkabout, I returned to discover a lot of Major News Events happened in my absence. After much ribbing from alleged “friends” for being so out of the loop, I asked for a Cliff’s-Note version of what I’d missed and added “We haven’t lost any cities, I hope?”
This I remembered as I went to a bland mainstream news site only to learn that a half-mile-wide tornado has completely obliterated the town of Greensburg, Kansas.
I’ll have to find a charity where I can donate money to the survivors. Meanwhile, I know I have a lot of catching up to do yet I must go offline again all the same. You know how it is: work responsibilities, social obligations, daily errands blah blah blah.
We haven’t lost any other cities, I hope? Drop me an e-mail if we do.