Monday, February 18, 2008

Celibacy To Spite You With, My Dear

Damn my weak and willpowerless soul. All I wanted was to check my e-mail, but when I saw the news link titled “Church Offers Sex Challenge” I just had to go and click on it. Dear God, how I wish I hadn’t done that:

A southwest Florida church issued a challenge for its married members this past Sunday: Hanky panky every day. Relevant Church head pastor Paul Wirth says the 50 percent divorce rate was the catalyst for The 30-Day Sex Challenge.

"And that's no different for people who attend church," Wirth said. "Sometimes life gets in the way. Our jobs get in the way."

Oh, and the flip side of the challenge? No rolling in the sheets for the unwed.

That last part’s a relief, because it means I can, in fact, have sex during the next month without being creeped out by the thought that I’m doing something officially approved by a pastor in Ybor City, Florida.


Blogger Jim said...

Christians do it on their knees.
With amazing grace.
Until the second coming.

But seriously: "Relevant Church"? Does anyone else get a whiff of desperation from that name, or is that just wishful thinking on my part?

8:41 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Yikes. I was so busy being squicked out I didn't even notice that.

9:08 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Just one question, does it have to be with their spouse every one of the 30 consecutive days? Not that the answer would have anything to do with me, not at all, just for academic purposes I ask this.

2:48 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm more concerned with that "every day for 30 days" business. Is the pastor trying to make sex a chore, in hopes of diminishing interest in it?

Not to mention, in a typical 30-day period (pun intended) there's a couple of days I really, really don't want to have sex with anybody, not because I have anything against the potential sex partner[s] in question but because there's a limit to just how messy I like my sex acts to be.

At any rate, the whole ting is ridiculous. I refuse to worship a God who's more obsessed with my genitalia than I am.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

Keep in mind it is not God, but this 2-bit preacher that is overly concerned with putting married genitalia to work.

1:35 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

I have anything against the potential sex partner[s] in question but because there's a limit to just how messy I like my sex acts to be.

Which sets a mind to wondering if less messy alternatives count.

3:01 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Well, I notice that his title is "head" pastor...

8:29 AM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

I don't understand this. I thought a RED letter day was reason to celebrate.

12:24 PM  

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