I’d Make A Great Terrorist Mastermind
The TSA will waive the no-beverages-on-board policy if you’re a diabetic (up to 5 ounces of juice), and let you carry baby formula if you’ve also got a baby. Why haven’t the terrorists found a diabetic suicide bomber to carry five ounces of liquid explosive disguised as fruit juice? Or carry explosive formula? If they have no qualms about killing people, I'm sure they can steal some woman's baby as a prop. And though they can no longer smuggle explosives disguised as gel shoe inserts onto a plane, they can use a wheelchair with gel-cushioned seats and pads, both of which are allowed by current guidelines.
I almost hope my imaginary double-D bombshell is caught in an airport someday, even though flying in the aftermath would be very difficult for women with bad-grade bra sizes. Once you know logic and good sense are out to lunch anyway, there’s good perverse fun in seeing just how much garbage they'll eat. I read of a terrorist caught in possession of dolls whose clothes were made of explosive nitrocellulose — how do you think the government would respond if they caught a bunch of guys trying to board a plane while wearing explosive clothing?
The anniversary of 9/11 is almost here, and a lot of people are wondering why the terrorists haven't struck again. I'll tell you why: because they lack imagination.