Doing My Stupid Civic Duty (kicks pebble)
So how was your Thanksgiving? Mine went swimmingly until Saturday night, when I discovered a jury duty summons waiting for me in the mail. It’s for state superior court in a grubby city a few miles east from me.A summons. That puts a definite damper on holiday spirit, but the timing could be worse; the one I got for federal duty two years ago arrived on Christmas Eve. I suppose I could wax poetic about how jury obligations are the heroic privileges of the free citizenry of a republic, only I’m too busy dreading the security checkpoint outside the courthouse. They’re going to ask to search my purse, of course, and I can’t say “If you think I’m dangerous you shouldn’t have made me come here in the first place” or else I'll be arrested.
They’ll probably confiscate the nail clippers on my keychain. Should I remove them, or use a permanent marker to write “weapon” on the back? That sounds like a dangerous thing to do nowadays, but I'll have plausible deniability: If any security guards give me hell I can adopt a look of wide-eyed innocence and say “oops, I forgot I had those!” I have enough other crap on my keyring to make that utterly believable.
But what can I accomplish by throwing away a perfectly good set of nail clippers on a completely futile gesture? Nothing. Besides, I should make the court people think I'm nice and respectable, so they'll be more likely to believe me when I tell them I can’t do jury duty.