Monday, December 03, 2007

The True Libertarian Bullion Fetish

So I’ve been amassing a small collection of little silver art bars, because they’re pretty and I’m afraid the dollar might soon go into freefall. Even if it doesn’t, a proper libertarian is supposed to have some bullion lying around anyway, to huddle over from time to time while hissing “We hateses the fiat money, yes we does, my precioussss.” (I am not, however, going to drink any of it, like those in the Stan Jones camp.)

Advice for like-minded lunatics: you can get silver for very little above spot value, or even a tad below, if you don’t mind having it molded into (usually) tacky “commemorative medals” or ingots. And although I don’t usually go for the hearts-and-flowers motifs, I particularly like the .999 fine ingot engraved with same and the words “Be My Valentine, February 14, 1974.”

It takes a special kind of man to give the gift of bullion on Valentine’s Day. Considering that the costs are the same anyway, I’d say an ingot of silver makes a better gift than a bunch of stupid soon-to-be dead flowers, but then I never did quite understand why I as a woman am supposed to get all weak-kneed at the sight of flowers, anyway. What’s the use of dead plant matter if you can’t eat it, wear it or smoke it?

37 Comments:

Anonymous A Moose said...

I have fun with gold, trying to get pieces and parts (like American Eagles) in such denominations that one could use them if needed for currency.

There's also the added fun of burying them in the yard and the like, finding creative ways to hide them.

1:24 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Moose, I am so proud of some of the super-clever hiding places I've found, it's almost a pity I can't write about them here.

5:13 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

BTW, you can do a bit better than spot if you go to Ebay, believe it or not. I've purchased gold there before. There's a guy that's selling silver by the pound, in silver coin, for $220+$17 S&H, which puts you at $14.81, a shade over spot of $14.35 now. However, the last round went for $200+$17S&H, which puts you at $13.56, almost $0.75 under current spot, delivered. Fun stuff.

6:33 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I know. That's where I've been doing my buying. Also: if you ever have a mass of silver and want it to LOSE value, relative to how much you could sell it for if you melted it down, all you have to do is mold it into Franklin Mint commemoratives, apparently.

6:51 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

I'm not familiar with the Franklin Mint stuff, though I'm sure it has to do with the price when they purchased it and the increase in Silver since then.

There is something strangely satisifying about handling gold, though ;)

8:24 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm sure there is. Alas, that satisfaction is denied to those in my salary range.

By the way, I have a REALLY funny story going online either tonight or tomorrow. Make sure you check it out! I'll make a post about it here anyway.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Anj said...

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...bullion...Damnit!!! Now I'm hungry!

10:34 AM  
Anonymous A moose said...

So, your editor can get it up at night now?

Ok, ok, climbing back under the rock...

10:35 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

He sure can! There's these amazing pills available nowadays, Moose. But you have to call your doctor if the article stays up for more than four hours at a stretch.

Fortunately, our craptastic server makes that very unlikely.

10:58 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

This is over spot, but doggone cool anyway.....

As for the editor, he must have been right popular with the furry article, he kept it up a long, long, time.

1:25 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Dammit, he forgot to take his pills again! I see the Web site's been updated and all the week's new stories got up. . . except the cover story, which happens to be the one really good piece I wrote this week.

Great. They're all up except the one I actually have use for. What a sausage party in hell this is for me.

3:40 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

Stan Jones drank colloidal silver, not silver bullion. He might have swigged it down with some chicken or beef bullion.

Suddenly, I want a hot roast beef sandwich au jus.
---
If the price of gold keeps going up, how soon before I have to fear roving bands of hoodlums armed with pliers looking to yank out my gold caps?

3:49 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I know, Nostar, but I think "I'm not going to drink it" sounded funnier than "I'm not going to do that electrolysis whatever to turn it into colloidal silver," in context.

Though in retrospect, a joke about silver "bouillon" might've been nice somewhere. Stupid first-draft unpolished writing.

4:12 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

"I'm not going to do that electrolysis whatever to turn it into colloidal silver," in context.

But, I'm sure you'd look good in blue.

4:42 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I do look good in blue, but that's not the same as looking good blue. Prepositions matter, Moose. They really do.

4:47 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm not familiar with the Franklin Mint stuff, though I'm sure it has to do with the price when they purchased it and the increase in Silver since then.

Just to clarify: I'm talking about the Franklin Mint stuff I've seen on eBay that actually sells below spot, even considering that it's .925 sterling rather than .999 fine. Especially when the "handsome display albums" or whatever are damaged. The silver's fine, though.

4:50 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Prepositions matter, Moose. They really do.

Engineer=They cleared out the language sections for math storage, what can I say?

The silver's fine, though.

Hard to liquidate, though, no pun intended. I've got a few gold 1oz, 1/2oz, and a bunch of 1/4oz (ok, maybe four or five="a bunch", don't want to overstate things) stashed in various locations among various properties in various states. I got to thinking if I wanted to sell them, even with the nice little assay tag, there isn't a market. At that point, I figured I'd buy only coin bullion, probably Canadian maple leaf types, but haven't had the disposable income since to purchas them.

6:38 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

There's also the added fun of burying them in the yard and the like, finding creative ways to hide them.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! And what would you like for Christmas, Little Boy?"

Gee, Santa! I want one of those neato-cool, electronic metal detectors! You know - the kind that can distinguish between pull tabs and coins!

==============

Moose, I am so proud of some of the super-clever hiding places I've found, it's almost a pity I can't write about them here.

That suggests that you keep them on your premises. Not the wisest information to publish to the Web when one's name and city of residence are already known.

12:53 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

If the price of gold keeps going up, how soon before I have to fear roving bands of hoodlums armed with pliers looking to yank out my gold caps?

You might better worry about roving bands of copper thieves armed with wire-cutters looking to yank out your electrical wiring. Someone hit the Houston Public Library downtown complex the other day. Back in the 80's, when the price of aluminum was up, people were stealing the guardrails off the highways.

1:20 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

A moose said...


Ok, ok, climbing back under the rock...


Probably where he hides his damned gold. :-)

1:43 AM  
Blogger rhhardin said...

Pork belly futures are nice for Valantine's day.

2:48 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

That suggests that you keep them on your premises. Not the wisest information to publish to the Web when one's name and city of residence are already known.

When I said clever, Smartass, I meant CLEVER. Keeping them in mine own apartment hardly qualifies.

You might better worry about roving bands of copper thieves armed with wire-cutters looking to yank out your electrical wiring.

In all seriousness, I figure it's only a matter of time before our very infrastructure gets picked apart by nickel-and-dime thieves. I've read of places in Africa where it's impossible to get electricity because jackasses don't mind knocking out power to an entire village in order to steal a few pounds of copper.

And in other news: it is now WEDNESDAY MORNING. Why isn't this week's cover story on the Web yet? It's the first funny piece I've written in weeks--me flipping the bird at the state DMV, over and over and over again.

In keeping with Moose's journalism-via-Viagra theme, when I go into work this morning I should dance into my bosses' office singing the chorus from Nasty Girls: "Get it up! Get it up! I can't wait anymore."

Except that I'm approximately ten years too old and forty IQ points too smart to successfully pull off something like that. Especially not while wearing winter-weight jeans and an oversized sweater.

6:56 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Probably where he hides his damned gold. :-)

Maybe...but you need a GPS and a set of coordinates to determine WHICH rock, and that only gives you another set of coordinates and an offset in magnetic bearing and no declination.

"If I did it", that is (apologeeze to OJ)

In keeping with Moose's journalism-via-Viagra theme

Could instead be a Cialis thing, sometime within the next 12 hours the time will be right?

I should dance into my bosses' office singing the chorus from Nasty Girls: "Get it up! Get it up! I can't wait anymore."

Jennifer's nightmare-surrounded by a bunch of dicks, and nobody can get it up?

Ok, dammit, I need to work now.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

When I said clever, Smartass, I meant CLEVER. Keeping them in mine own apartment hardly qualifies.

Ah! But home-invasion, robber types might not believe you. Take it from someone who has learned the hard way that it is never wise to let others know what one has. Years ago I used to make a habit of showing off the beautiful tools and equipment in my workshop to anyone and everyone who came by - up until I got burgled, that is.

=================

I've read of places in Africa where it's impossible to get electricity because jackasses don't mind knocking out power to an entire village in order to steal a few pounds of copper.

Somalia comes to mind.

===================

Jennifer's nightmare-surrounded by a bunch of dicks, and nobody can get it up?

This sounds like a job for...

EL SHAFTO NASTEE !!!

8:07 AM  
Anonymous A moose said...

EL SHAFTO NASTEE !!!

I'll fix it for you, as I know that you have spelling issues:

EL SHAFTO FASTEE !!!

Mere seconds, per the rumors.

Hey, Jennifer, can you fix the DAMN F-ING TERMS thing on your company website? It's highly annoying. Or, am I the only one who has to open the damn thing every doggone time?

10:42 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Somalia comes to mind.

Actually, no shit, DC, we put out a lane closure for road construction, and by the time we set out the last (aluminum) signs, the first (aluminum) signs are gone. Amazing.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

In central Washington state, farmers are having the copper wire that feeds electricity to their irrigation systems stolen from the fields.

11:38 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Mere seconds, per the rumors.

It is never wise to let others know what one has. ;-)

11:50 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I don't know WHAT the hell's going on with the blogging software, Moose. I am no longer getting e-mail notices of new comments, either.

11:53 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Just for clarification, the company site, not this one, you have to open the F-ing terms EVERY time. Most annoying.

It is never wise to let others know what one has. ;-)

SOB=Speedy Old Bastard, "So fast we don't even get past the Bam, forget the 'Thank you ma'am', but thank you for your support."?

I personally probably need this, suffering from white man's disease as I do, but I keep having this scenario in my mind after an accident or medical emergency or something, somehow similar to the guy that stole the inflatable dolls out of the adult toy store. That would be the antidote to any progress the previously mentioned accessory could create, so it's probably not worth it.

So how come I'm the only one commenting on the work site?

12:23 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

SOB=Speedy Old Bastard, "So fast we don't even get past the Bam,...

Even if that were true, it would be much better than not being able to get as far as even the Wham - wouldn't it, ol' boy? ;-)

Actually...SOB=Son Of A Bitch. As in smartass son of a bitch. It's a long story, but that monicker stems from an incident years ago in which I showed up a detective for the dumb ass liar and/or incompetent that he was. It's an epithet that I wear with pride. ;-)

10:59 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Ok, dammit, now you have me buying silver off Ebay. Where do I send your bill?

6:45 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

To my Hotmail address, Moose. (In all seriousness, we should exchange eBay names and enter into a pact not to bid against each other. But that should be discussed via e-mail, not here.)

6:58 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Ok, secret chimp information sent. shhhhh...

Actually...SOB=Son Of A Bitch. As in smartass son of a bitch.

Really? I never thought of that.

Not that the above is a smartass comment or anything....

7:56 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

::Sigh::

I keep forgetting that there's a fairly good chance that some readers may not understand the secret chimp reference. Doggone sucks getting old.

8:00 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Doggone sucks getting old.

Beats hell out of not getting old.

8:22 AM  
Anonymous Nomen Nescio said...

make sure you hide at least some small part of it underneath the bedroom, so you can claim you're making like a dragon and sleeping on a pile of precious metals.

y'know, those old fairy tales about dragons with hoards of gold in their caves always made me wonder who the hell thought them up. what the overgrown lizards needed wasn't some knight in shining armor to lop their heads off; they needed an investment banker.

7:08 AM  

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