Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Elvis Is God: The Proof Is Here

Recent discoveries indicate that Elvis Presley, the King of Rock And Roll who died for the sins of humanity and then rose from the dead to appear unto His followers at Burger Kings and Waffle Houses throughout America, also lived 1,800 years ago when his image was carved into the decorations on a Roman coffin:

'Fans seeing this face from the distant past will be forgiven for thinking that their idol may well have lived a previous life in Rome,' said a spokesman for Bonhams, which is auctioning the item in October.

This Elvis probably dates back to about 200 AD – about 1,750 years before the birth of rock'n'roll.

But it could even date to 400 BC, experts claim.

The bust is an authentic acroter­ion – an ornament often found on the corners of sarcophagi, stone burial chambers where the most important people were laid to rest.

If Elvis worship isn’t your theological cup of tea, you can try visiting Nigeria, where the name of Allah has been found twisted into the gristle on a cut of meat.


Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Can I get an "uh huh!" from the congregation!

8:04 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Having not read the article, I would assume that the meat in question was not pork?

7:36 AM  
Anonymous iamagoldengod said...

Elvis has left the Pyramid!

12:47 PM  

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