Monday, May 11, 2009

Spring Reaming

Winter has finally left my little corner of New England, which means when I walk through downtown on various job-related tasks I am no longer hidden beneath a bulky coat. This is problematic because -- I am not exaggerating here -- every single day when I walk downtown I have to listen to guys honk their horns at me and then either make kissing noises or shout "Hey, bayBEE!" in Spanish accents.

I am always tempted to shout back "Do you jackholes really think that's the way to get a woman interested in you? Pray to the Virgin you're not still one when you die." But of course I never say anything, because I'm technically at work plus I don't feel like getting attacked by horny losers with nothing better to do that harass women in the middle of the day.

Maybe I can make a sandwich board to wear when I must walk the downtown streets: "Wanna get AIDS? Ask me how." Except that would only deter people who a) know how to read and b) aren't HIV-positive already. I'm not convinced that my onroad admirers meet both qualifications.

32 Comments:

Anonymous Cap'n NoStar said...

This is a form of harrassment, a verbal assault, audial rape if you will.

There out to be a law!

There may already be one (or more likely, several.) Sexual objectification might even qualify as a hate crime. As natural redheads are rare and exotic creatures, perhaps the rules against disturbing endangered animals in their natural habitat might apply.

OK, removing my tongue from my cheek, one of my pet peeves is how government agents fail to enforce existings law in order to pass even more laws and obtain more funding.

My bet is that passing an open carry law would cut down on such uncouth behavior.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

My bet is that passing an open carry law would cut down on such uncouth behavior.Realistically, I'd not shoot anyone merely for broadcasting his horniness throughout the neighborhood; my concern is that some of these guys might not be content to merely screech at me. But when I eventually have my interview with the police, for the "pretty please may I exercise my Constitutional right to self-defense" discussion, I dare not mention any of this. They won't let you have a gun if they think you might ever use it; the idea is that if a guy wants to rape me, I should just lie back, hope we won't kill me when he's done, and look on the bright side: since he hasn't bathed in months, the thick layer of grease coating his body provides extra lubrication. Hooray!

12:32 PM  
Blogger Windypundit said...

Eewww!

8:46 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Welcome to Connecticut, Windy. The hell of it is, our state constitution explicitly allows weapon possession "in defense of self," yet the state and local government does everything in its power to subvert it.

I had an infuriating discussion with a gunophobe I have the misfortune to work with; he seriously argued that if I am home and someone breaks in, I should not shoot him, but merely run away,and even if I can't leave I shouldn't shoot him, because "statistically speaking" the guy only wants my stuff anyway, and "stuff" is less important than a human life.

Of course, the jackoff also said he thinks police should be the only people anywhere allowed to have guns. I told him he has a lot more faith in authority than I do.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous smartass said...

and "stuff" is less important than a human life.

That depends on which particular "human life" one has in mind, I think. Some humans aren't worth even the price of a bullet as far as I am concerned.

Besides..."stuff" represents someone's time and energy to acquire it, produce it, etc. That is to say - it represents a portion of some human's life. I fail to see why force should not be used to defend it.

===============================

BTW, sorry about the catcalls - men are often pigs. ;-) I wonder though, if they weren't more interested in impressing each other rather than thinking they could actually get somewhere with you.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I fully agree, Smartass, but I'm notone of those touchy-feely idiots who sincerely believes that the only reason evil exists in the world is that it hasn't been outlawed yet.

Quite frankly, I value a piece of used chewing gum more than I value the life of someone who would forcefully try to steal said gum from me. Especially since I have no way of knowing for sure that if I just hand over the gum, he'll go away and leave me alone.

And yes, I'm sure the catcalling is more for the benefit of the guys' friends than for me. But it pisses me off, especially since I *know* a lot of these guys are welfare people. *I* am paying to support these people to do nothing all day but screech at me.

9:39 AM  
Anonymous Cap,n NoStar said...

Jen,
You could get a butch haircut and wear plaid flannel shirts and sensible shoes. That should stop the obnoxious behavior.

Although, you might have to keep a look out for little dutch boys and their probing fingers.

12:03 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

You could get a butch haircut and wear plaid flannel shirts and sensible shoes. That should stop the obnoxious behavior.Then you'd get the same comments from the female construction workers.

1:41 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Jen,
You could get a butch haircut...

Aaaiiiii! He blasphemes! Cut off that beautiful hair? Sacrilege. ;-)

4:19 PM  
Anonymous Jeff P said...

Just so I'm clear:
Web posts about the desire to see and prod Jennifer's genitalia are fine.
Crazy lust-rants involving her hair and pent-up bodily fluids are fine.
Stereotypical whistling minorities admiring her buttocks necessitates a blog post.
Got it.

What about Jen-in-cling-wrap slash porn? Can I get a ruling?

4:47 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Am I missing something here?

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Cap'n NoStar said...

Jen in cling-wrapOK, but don't let the cat-calling mexican construction workers wrap themselves in it. They're fresh enough as it is.

6:04 PM  
Anonymous Cap'n NoStar said...

Jen in cling-wrapOK, but don't let the cat-calling mexican construction workers wrap themselves in it. They're fresh enough as it is.

6:04 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Am I missing something here?Perhaps, though I think more Jeff is.

12:11 AM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Let me get this strait. You are a hot chick and you are bugged by the attention? There are lots of women who undergo all manner of expensive surgery so men will notice them. You get that for free. What are you griping about?

6:15 AM  
Anonymous a moose said...

What are you griping about?Depends on if you mean Jennifer or Jeff.

Jennifer:
Objectification. She has a brain, not just breasts and red hair. She wants respect and attention on her terms. Works in a sub-bitch at the end that one cannot open carry in CT, but that's a distraction. A valid one, but a distraction.

Jeff:
Jeff is indirectly bitching about the attention that Jennifer receives online. Not knowing him, I don't know if she actively breeds some level of insecurity in their relationship, but from past comments I know it bothers him, but he has acclimated to it and tolerates it. He's basically got the same comment as you, his comment is directed towards her not objecting to the overly juvenile comments on Jennifer's appearance, etc, but objecting to be whistled at in person.

Personally, I can see a difference, in that someone taking the time to read what she says has to respect her brain to some extent, and not just see breasts. Hopefully that clarifies for you.

Now, important stuff, I saw these guys over the weekend: http://www.nabodach.com/

They're great, you need to make time to see them. This is not optional. That is all.

6:46 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Caveman, I'll spell this out for you in tiny little words: not all male attention is created equal, and any woman who thinks "Boo hoo, if only I could attract catcalls from greasy-looking people with nothing better to do than howl at strange women in the middle of the afternoon" has serious self-esteem issues. Add to that the possible safety angle, too.

7:19 AM  
Anonymous Jeff P said...

To be clear, my comment was meant as a joke. I am referencing some singularly repulsive comments that were made on another chatrooms years ago regarding some photos of a meatspace gathering. I took the pix down after over 20 such comments. I was repeatedly told I was being uptight for not enjoying the discussion about the flavor of Jen's vagina and the noises she makes when aroused. I suggested that the moderators of the chatrooms were perhaps acting irresponsibly by allowing (and at one point encouraging) such comments, which triggered a number of imaginative descriptions of Jen starring in bukkake. When I said that harboring trolls was grounds for a DoS attack, I was called a Web Nazi and threatened with a significant ban from one site.

I have no insecurity about my relationship with Jen. But I have the same standards of behavior online as I do in meatspace, and view the toleration of trolls as unethical. Jen does not. She perceives such heinous traits as part of the internet landscape to be ignored like advertising.

7:35 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

I have no insecurity about my relationship with Jen. But I have the same standards of behavior online as I do in meatspace, and view the toleration of trolls as unethical. Jen does not.I remember the chat room discussion you reference, it was carried away.

I did not mean to imply that you were insecure, Jeff, if you look at what I read it was "...she breeds...," meaning, if her actions on some behalf encourage something, even unintentionally. It was not meant as any slight on you and if you took it that way, please accept my apology if my wording was poor.

Troll toleration, it's kind of a necessary evil to a point, at least if you want people to respect your point. Intolerance, and you can be accused of not allowing disagreement. Too much tolerance, and you can get people upset and distracted.

8:29 AM  
Anonymous Jeff P said...

No slight perceived. No apology needed.

9:08 AM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:21 AM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Caveman, I'll spell this out for you in tiny little wordsWill any of them be four letter words? Perhaps from George Carlin's list of words you can't say on the radio?

not all male attention is created equalAttention and created are kinda big. Three whole syllables each.

any woman who thinks "Boo hoo, if only I could attract catcalls from greasy-looking people with nothing better to do than howl at strange women in the middle of the afternoon" has serious self-esteem issues.You can't make only six figure salary lawyers and doctors notice you without getting the notice of the hard working blue collar types who bring home the low five figures.

6:24 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Caveman, in the past you've already demonstrated a trollish view of female sexuality that lives up to your name; if six-figure guys made kissy noises at me on the street I'd be just as annoyed.

7:07 AM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Six figure guys wouldn't whistle and hoot. They'd just sexually harass you in the copy room. They prefer to go after women who are dependant on a paycheck from them.

I really don't get the problem. If women in an office were to gawk and hoot at me when I walked through I'd feel pretty good. I know when I had a gal pinch my butt in a hotel hallway I was feeling pretty good after that.

At least I hope is was a gal...

11:48 AM  
Anonymous Jeff P said...

Anyone with any office experience would know that a six-figure exec wouldn't know where the copy room was...

1:33 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

I know when I had a gal pinch my butt in a hotel hallway I was feeling pretty good after that.

Probably just a hooker trying to drum up a little business. ;-)

1:52 PM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Could have been. Didn't matter to me. I got a rise out of it. I don't see why chicks get so pissed at the wolf whistles.

7:31 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm guessing there's a lot you don't see, Caveman.

7:28 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Oh, man, someone got deleted and I didn't even get to see it. Darn the bad luck.

11:46 AM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Jen, explain to me why women bother to look nice if they don't want to be noticed.

Moose, I deleted it because I used [] insted ov <> around my HTML tags.

6:20 PM  
Blogger rhhardin said...

Guys have very low standards. That's what gives women a chance, since few of them are great deals.

So look at the bright side.

7:10 AM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Jen, I re-read the earlier posts and noticed something, early on you said, "Realistically, I'd not shoot anyone merely for broadcasting his horniness throughout the neighborhood"

Therein lies your error. Most of those men are married, probably happily married. They are hooting and barking for the same reason 14 year old girls scream when faced with an object of their fanhood. It's to show off for their peers, not the target.

If you were to turn to them and say "I will sleep with the man with best equipment, drop your pants so I can see what you've got." they would get quite embarrassed. Just like those 14 year old girls would if the object of their fanhood were to actually confront one of them.

Give it a try. It could be fun.

7:24 AM  

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