"Our Services Touch Every US Citizen"
Meanwhile, I remain poor by modern American socioeconomic income standards. Might I alleviate this and be personally enriched by some of the money government wastes on bullshit? It's possible! I'm still looking for a full-time staff writer position, and the Department of Homeland Security is hiring some and offering to pay them pretty well:
Job Title: Writer/Editor
Department: Department Of Homeland Security
Agency: National Protection and Programs Directorate
Job Announcement Number: FS-505757-SW11
SALARY RANGE: $62,467.00 - $97,333.00 /year
OPEN PERIOD:Monday, July 25, 2011 to Friday, August 05, 2011
SERIES & GRADE: GS-1082-11/12
POSITION INFORMATION: Full Time Career/Career Conditional
DUTY LOCATIONS: Few vacancies - Arlington, VA
WHO MAY BE CONSIDERED: US Citizens and Status CandidatesJOB SUMMARY:
Secure the Homeland
Proud to Protect
Are you interested in a job where your primary purpose will be to write and edit materials, such as reports, inquiries from the White House, Congress, and the Government Accountability Office, news releases, and speeches.? Then consider joining the Office of Identity Services Branch, US-VISIT, National Protection and Programs Directorate, Department of Homeland Security (DHS). Come work with the best to prevent and deter terrorist attacks, protect against and respond to potential threats, ensure safe and secure borders, welcome immigrants and visitors, and promote the free-flow [sic] of commerce. This mission of the U. S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is carried out every day by the dedicated men and women who answer the noble calling of public service with courage and enthusiasm. With a diverse and critical mission, we lead the unified national effort to secure America. In today's interconnected world, our country's security challenges are constantly evolving. To meet these challenges, DHS fosters a culture that values and promotes diversity, teamwork, flexibility, and innovation.
In Headquarters, we coordinate, plan, and guide the Department's work across all DHS components. You could enjoy a career that includes research, administration and management, legal work, budget and finance, cyber security, infrastructure protection and intelligence analysis. Our services touch every U.S. citizen, and our goal is to secure our country across land and sea. Come join the team who is "Proud to Protect". APPLICATIONS WILL BE ACCEPTED FROM: All U.S. Citizens and Status Candidates.More than one selection may be made from this announcement should the need arise.
For new Federal employees, the starting salary will be at the Step 1 Grade selected (GS-11-$62,467; GS-12 - $74,872).
I wonder if that's the same pay Blogger Bob enjoys for his role as TSA's head of propaganda? More importantly, I wonder if I could do it?
Come work with the best to prevent and deter terrorist attacks, protect against and respond to potential threats, ensure safe and secure borders, welcome immigrants and visitors, and promote the free-flow of commerce.Prevent and deter terrorist attacks? Then-President George W. Bush said the terrorists attacked us because they hate freedom; DHS is certainly removing that motivation, and if I worked for them, I'd be helping.
Protect against and respond to potential threats? If that means "mistreat everyone who travels anywhere in America," DHS continues doing a bang-up job and as their staff writer, I would repeatedly say so.
Ensure safe and secure borders? I personally would not tote a gun and play target practice on the border; I'd write justifications for those who did. If the TSA blog is any indication, I wouldn't even be required to tell the truth; I could tell outright lies, so long as it makes my masters look good. "There are no children on the No-Fly List." "Our immigration policy is totally humane." "The problems in Mexico are in no way the fault of US drug policy and DEA meddling."
As a journalist, I know "making shit up" is much easier than "finding and telling the truth"; an article that could take all week to write if I had to read documents and talk to witnesses could be done in less than an hour if I only had to consult the reference library stored between the cheeks of my ass. Finding proof of government wrongdoing might sometimes take awhile, but telling fairy tales where such wrongdoing doesn't exist is a snap.
Welcome immigrants and visitors? If by "welcome" you mean "confiscate their electronics and subject their bodies to intimate genital searches considered human-rights violations in other countries," DHS again does a bang-up job, which I'd have to justify.
Promote the free flow of commerce? For all the indignities TSA inflicts on passengers they still don't check cargo, so I suppose there's that.
Our services touch every U.S. citizen. Yeah. That's pretty much the problem.
But I really need a job. Or a benefactor willing to give me regular sums of money for doing basically nothing. If I work for the government I could have both at once. All I need to do is find a friendly and not entirely ethical brain surgeon to lobotomize my conscience and empathy circuits first. Except I don't have enough health insurance for that, so rather than apply for this respectable middle-class writing position, I'll continue editing vanity novels and envying Japanese fetish artists. At least that way I keep my self-respect.