Fevers That Won’t Break
The rules are there to protect us from terrorism, and I don’t want there to be any more terrorist attacks but I had conditioner in my carry-on bag anyway. What the hell has happened to my country, where that last statement now makes any sort of sense? In the past week I’ve written three separate posts about my damned hair and how I wash it (four if you count this one), and these posts aren’t some vapid beauty-salon chitchat but actual discussions of government regulations supposedly helping us fight the war on terror.
Granted, I’m writing this in a fever dream. But after the fever breaks this still will reflect reality.
Meanwhile, Ryan Bird has channeled his disgust for the TSA in a more productive direction: starting a website encouraging Americans who fly to write “Kip Hawley Is An Idiot” on their Ziploc baggies of approved toiletries. Unfortunately, I lacked the courage to do any such thing when I flew last week, because I didn’t want to draw unwelcome government attention to the illicit amounts of conditioner and shampoo in my anti-terrorist Ziploc bag. There’s another sentence which has no damned business making any sense after my fever breaks, but I’m afraid it will.