Happy Mothers’ Day! No, Really, It Would Be
Spring has come to
Back on point: none of my rattling clocks work anymore, except for this one 60-year-old Florn model that keeps near-perfect time, but only when the clock’s propped upside down. I swear. It's been like that since I got it.
Somewhere in that clock lies an important metaphor regarding my life, but I probably don’t want to know what it is. Anyway, I don’t feel like spending whatever it would cost to have the clocks cleaned and oiled so they’ll run again, so instead I blame the rattling bass and imagine a spooky Dorian Gray vibe ‘twixt me and the clocks: my biological one starts ticking, albeit in an extremely conditional fashion, as soon as my rhinestone ones stop (except for one that works quite well, albeit in an extremely conditional fashion).
So what do you think? I think I need some coffee. Right now.TEN-MINUTE-LATER EDIT: Did I forget to mention my future child would also have to develop time travel so I can have my EMP gun today? I think I did. Anyway, I don't want to put undue stress on my eventual offspring but: my coffee's almost DONE and you still haven't shown up with my Mothers' Day gift. Granted, the cars have gone away and it's nice and quiet now, but for how long, I ask you? How long? You should know. You're the one from the future, not me.