Writer’s Block Sucks The Red Sulfurous Hairy Balls Of Satan
Speaking of hairy balls, I did manage to produce a halfway-decent piece about “manscaping,” the growing (oops) trend of people pouring wax on their private parts so they can rip the hair off. I didn’t have much to say about the practice itself, so I amused myself (and hopefully my readers) by inventing euphemisms for it, including paring the pubic patch, pruning the curly branches, keeping the labial lawns mowed, transforming one’s shrubbery into topiaries, lumberjacking in the pelvic forest and downsizing the subwaist workforce.
Oh, and there’s this bit about the history of depilatory procedures. And Seneca the Younger.
I have no life, but at least I have a knack for metaphor.