Monday, May 05, 2008

I Shall Wear My Trousers Rolled

If you saw me going about my normal business today (or typing this right now, for that matter), you’d probably get a very concerned expression on your face and say “Oh, Jennifer, what’s wrong? You look like you’ve been hurt!” And my limpid blue eyes would gaze up at you with a piteous expression as I replied, “Ouch, yes, I injured myself in the shower this morning.”

This is actually true, although I’m not sure how I did it. One minute I was raising my hands to lather up the shampoo in my hair, and next thing I know I’ve pulled in my back some muscle I never realized I had. And by “pulled” I mean “ripped into tiny little painful shreds.”

Since I am a badass, I worked through the pain long enough to finish washing and conditioning my hair. And now it’s been eight hours or more, and after multiple stretching exercises plus the application of tiger balm and a pain patch my back still hurts like hell. But even that isn’t as bad as the psychic pain of knowing I’ve morphed into the sort of person who suffers self-inflicted muscle damage from shampooing.

Meanwhile, the Man About The House has decided to turn this into a Teachable Moment about the importance of starting each day doing stretching exercises as he does, proving that few of life’s annoyances can’t be made worse via the addition of a lecture series. Of course, if I’d started my day exercising then I might’ve torn my back doing a stretching exercise rather than the pragmatic hygiene-related stretching which actually did me in. If this had happened it would’ve been me saying “I told you so” rather than him. So perhaps I might try exercising after all.


Blogger Windypundit said...

Perhaps we can ofter some useful advice. Tell us more about how you injured yourself. Describe your shower activities in detail---the temperature of the water, the way you were moving, the smell of the soap wafting over your body, the way the light reflected off your wet auburn hair like roses glistening with dew on a fresh spring morning...

I mean, uh, wow, I hope you feel better soon, cause those back injuries are a bitch.

5:29 PM  
Anonymous A moose said...

Dammit, Windy made a mess of the inside of my computer screen! Anyone in there got a towel?

5:47 AM  
Anonymous Liberty said...

I used to throw my back out the same way when I was in college. Eventually figured out it was caused by carrying a heavy backpack on one shoulder.

Got rid of the backpack. No more back pain.

Purses can have the same effect. Might be something to check out.

8:03 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Purses can have the same effect. Might be something to check out.

So can stress, feeling unsupported, like not having a job with security and all that.

Acupuncture works pretty well, despite what people say about it being only a placebo. I don't particularly give a rip, it works.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Abel said...

I switched to a smaller, lighter purse fairly recently, so I don't think it's a problem of unevenly distributed weight. Actually, I favor Moose's theory; I recently lost a job which I loved (crummy salary notwithstanding), and I am filled with terror that I'll never find another good position and will end up wasting my life after all.

8:41 AM  
Anonymous iamagoldengod said...

Exercise. Most back problems can be attributed to poorly toned supporting muscles. This causes the muscles in the back to take on a little more then they were designed for. Do some very simple abdominal exercises and your back won't have to bear as much.
The same can be said with many knee problems. Strengthen the muscles on the front and back of the thighs and the ligaments and tendons in the knee won't have to bear all the weight.
or... take baths instead.

11:20 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Abel said...

Maybe, GG, but considering how I felt fine when I woke up this morning, I can conclude that "eight hours of sleep" is just as effective as "exercise" in making back pain go away.

Woo hoo.

12:27 PM  

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