It’s Not Kiddie Porn; It’s The TSA!

I never thought I’d wax nostalgic for the Good Old Days when Bush and Cheney were running this country into the ground, yet here’s one way Bush’s America was indisputably better than Obama’s: under the Bush administration, child molesters were given long prison sentences, whereas today they’re given tax-funded salaries and turned loose to diddle children and adults alike in American airports for the TSA.

Here’s a video I’d never have shown you during the Bush administration, because back then it would’ve been classified “softcore child pornography” rather than mere “documentation of American government agents at work.” If you’re not a pedophile, prepare to be outraged; if you are a pedophile, prepare your Vaseline and tissue box. You’ll need them both.

Background: apparently, just before this video was shot, the little girl did go through the nude scanner, but that didn’t satisfy the TSA so the child had to be groped instead. At the very beginning, you can just hear the girl’s mother plead, “Can’t you just re-scan her?”



Of course they can’t just “re-scan” her. Where’s the fun in that? Scanning would merely give agents another look-see at the six-year-old girl’s smooth hairless nude body, but if they wanted to see that again, they could call up the saved image with only one hand (leaving the other free to pursue more pleasurable activities). Re-scanning the girl wouldn’t let some fat slob so lacking in morality and marketable job skills she has to work as a TSA agent act out the pedophiliac fantasy in the video: first running her gloved hands down the soft, silky hair on the girl’s head before slo-o-o-owly pulling it back from the nape of her neck, letting the hair drop softly back down onto the neckline of the girl’s shirt just before the agent sticks her finger down said neckline to trace out the full circumference of the child’s naked shoulders before pulling out, and running her palms over by where her victim’s breasts ought to appear in a few years [i.e. when she’s too old to be sexually appealing anymore], across the child’s still-nonexistent waistline and hip curvatures, finally sticking a gloved finger down into the child’s underwear and feeling aaaaallllll the way around the girl’s slender cylindrical little form. Next it’s the girl’s buttocks — gentle squeeze, gentle squeeze, just enough to make sure she’s not smuggling a nuke down there — now between the legs — yes, yes, right there, that’s the sweet spot all the pedophiles wish they could touch — mmm, yeah — now run both hands down the child’s inner thighs … all done while you’re behind the child, of course, so she can’t make eye contact with you but you can, if you want, pretend/fantasize she’s somebody else — maybe that hot little piece JonBenet Ramsey circa 1990-something — now dash around to the front for another quick grab-through — yes, pull the girl’s shirt back down and smooth it out, you did rumple it pretty badly — now walk away and leave the child standing there with her legs apart while she waits for the results of the drug test you’re running on her.

I’m sure someone out there will read this and be very offended by what I wrote. Not offended by the pedophiliac behavior of the TSA, mind you, but offended at me for identifying such behavior as the pedophile wet dream it is. I am not swayed by the argument “TSA does not hire child molesters!” Anyone who molests a child is by definition a child molester, and what that video shows and what I just described is indisputably a bully in authority molesting a child.

UPDATED EDIT: A spokesman for TSA says the agent in the video followed proper procedure. Not a bad apple, not an isolated incident -- this is simply what the TSA does.

Americans and TSA: A Call For Sacrifice