Monday, March 08, 2010

Feels Great, Not Adding Value To The World

According to a document I got in the mail today (the envelope postmarked Manchester in the UK), it is the official position of Her Majesty's Government that I add no value to the world. At least not via the stuff I write for the Guardian.

Either the document or what's printed on it is called a Remittance Advice, and I gather the Guardian's also sending a copy to "H. M. Inspector of Taxes." It lists the first six pieces I wrote, their titles and publication dates, what I was paid for each, and some long code numbers the Guardian uses for internal recordkeeping. It also says, "This VAT [Value Added Tax] shown is your output tax due to CUSTOMS & EXCISE." The total Value Added Tax for all my output is "zero."

In some contexts this would offend me -- I can take criticism, but "Your writing completely lacks value" goes beyond harsh and into troll territory -- but in this context, where it means I need not contribute toward the upkeep of the Crown Jewels, I am ecstatic to learn I'm worthless and add no value to the human condition. (Actually, according to the remittance advice I am not "worthless" but "exempt," where adding value is concerned. Close enough for government work.)


Blogger Windypundit said...

Whew! You scared me. With that title, I was afraid you'd taken a government job.

2:24 PM  
Blogger rhhardin said...

Sometimes when you buy a CD online from Australia they subtract the VAT from the advertised price. Other times they keep it.

In any case it's not owed on exports.

I'd think you'd be an import however.

11:35 PM  
Anonymous Jeff P said...

I'll be using "Exempt from the Human Condition" as my new tagline thankyouverymuch.

It will replace the outdated "Asshole for the New Millennium"

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Cap'n NoStart said...

I am not surprised that a government doesn't recognize the value of what you create.

I am surprised that that stops them from taxing you anyway.

6:44 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Glad to hear from you, Cap'n! You and your lovely wife have not updated your blog in awhile, so I was getting concerned. Hope everything is going well for you!

12:39 PM  

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