Thursday, May 10, 2012

Another Week Of TSA Terror

How many freedom fingerbangs did your tax dollars pay for this week? Let's take a look:

In Fort Lauderdale, TSA agents yanked an 18-month-old girl and her parents off a flight because the little girls' name was on the No-Fly List. This was an enormous surprise to anyone fool enough to believe the odious propagandist Blogger Bob, who assured us back in 2010 that there are no children on the No-Fly List.

Speaking as an underemployed journalist, sometimes I kinda wish I could suffer a minor head injury that left my intellect intact but completely disabled the "conscience" and "empathy" portions of my brain. Because if that happened, I could get a blogger job with the TSA, which would be MUCH easier and more lucrative than any journo gig I've held to date: pulling shit out of your ass is WAY easier than doing actual research to report actual facts. Here, watch this: "TSA is the vital front line in our war against terror." "TSA agents are highly trained professionals who respect the constitutional rights of Americans and the human rights of all." "The only names on the No-Fly List belong to people who deserve to be there." Tell me that's not just as good as anything Blogger Bob has done. I dare you.

Perhaps hoping to assure Americans that TSA and other anti-terror security theater measures are actually useful and necessary, the CIA announced that it had exposed another dreadful terrorist plot. Except -- oopsie! -- the would-be bomber turned out to be a CIA double agent. The CIA is like the FBI: very good at uncovering terrorist plots instigated by its own undercover agents, useless at anything else.

Not content to merely turn America into an authoritarian hellhole where sexual molestation is mandated for anyone wishing to travel, the US government is assiduously bullying foreign countries into adopting the same TSA terror tactics to use against their own populations. TSA is also rolling out more scanners to irradiate travelers in American airports.

Slow news week, in other words.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You do realize Blogger Bob is Baghdad Bob. Not that I blame the guy, even a propagandist needs to eat.

7:12 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Abel said...

"Needs to eat?" Clearly you haven't seen any photos of him; he hasn't missed any meals. Ever. No conscience AND no self-control -- no wonder his masters love him so.

9:26 AM  

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