Scylla? Charybdis? No — The Lotus-Eaters

I live in Connecticut, which puts me at a disadvantage when I want to criticize people in other states for having corrupt politicians. We had a governor sent to prison for graft, one mayor serving nine years for selling city contracts and another doing thirty-seven for bribing a crack whore to let him rape her two prepubescent daughters. (Is it true, that there exist states where “at least he’s not a child molester” is considered damning with faint praise, not an actual selling point?) I never voted for any of these guys but still occasionally feel the need to defend my home by waving my hands vaguely and saying “well, the scenery’s quite pretty and besides, without Connecticut people traveling between Boston and New York would have no place to stop for a bathroom break.”

We’ve also got Joe Lieberman, a Senator who calls himself a Democrat because his lips cannot shape the words “I am a Republican” while they’re superglued to George W.’s ass. At least he’s not a child molester. But neither is Ned Lamont, who’s challenging Lieberman for the Democratic candidacy. This means Connecticut’s having a Democratic primary this Tuesday, which has become national news for some reason involving the future of the Republican Party, Democratic party, Americans’ perception of the war in Iraq and possibly the price of gasoline too. My opinion: get Lieberman out first, worry about the ramifications later.

There’s a series of radio ads running in Connecticut featuring a George W. soundalike talking about why we all need to support the war, avoid criticizing the president at this vital juncture in history, and stop letting silly civil-liberties concerns stand in our way of fighting the War on Terror. The first time I heard such an ad I thought “that’s funny, I remember W. wording it differently when he said that.” Of course the denouement is that it was Lieberman, not Bush, who said such things, and the ad ends with the real Bush talking about what a great guy Lieberman is.

He’s threatened to run as an independent candidate if Lamont wins the primary, which means a three-way race that’ll likely give the Senate seat to the Republican guy, what’s-his-name. If Lamont doesn’t win the primary, we’ll have a Republican Senator regardless of whether Lieberman or what’s-his-name wins the election. Either way Connecticut will have Republican representation in the Senate this fall.

Conclusion: next election, for the first time ever, I’ll be voting for the libertarian candidate. Assuming Connecticut can scrounge one up to put on the ballot.

I hope he’s not too insane.