Once again terrorists have somehow managed to cross our national borders, drop their pants and shit on our vegetables, thus contaminating the American food supply with e. coli. A few Americans died this summer from infected spinach
, then it was lettuce making people sick for awhile, and now it’s green onions from Taco Bell.
In all cases, some of the contaminated vegetables were consumed right here in my own state of Connecticut
, though I was never in any danger since the only green food I eat is Granny Smith apples. Those are less likely to be shat upon since they grow on trees rather than the ground.
I’m kidding about the terrorist poop, of course. At least I think I am. The story last time blamed the e. coli on contaminated water used to irrigate the crops; I figure it’ll be something similar this time around, too. But here's what I can't figure out: is e. coli more common these days than it used to be, or is it just that the media reports it more often?