Friday, December 14, 2007

Unsubtle Ploy For Sympathy

GAAAAH! Fuck you, Mother Nature, for going all Joan Crawford on me like that. Behold the breakdown for yesterday:

10 a.m. Leave for work. Thick snow’s already falling, and forecasters say our little corner of New England will get walloped by a winter storm. I know, without even calling, that the office will be closed for the day, but I HAVE to go in because I’ve got a phone interview scheduled with a Very Important National Politician, and I was lucky to get that appointment in the first place (the best I’d reasonably hoped for was a canned statement from the VINP’s third undersecretary), and there’s no way I can reschedule if I miss the VINP’s call. So I get in my car and start what’s usually a half-hour commute this late in the morning.

1:30 p.m. Arrive at the office, which closed an hour and a half before (a.k.a. Two hours after I left). Fortunately, my security badge doubles as an electronic key. The newsroom’s deserted save for my boss, who got there just a few minutes before. “You may as well go home,” he said. “I can’t,” I replied. “[A VINP] is supposed to call me at 3:15 to talk about [this story I’m working on].”

3:10. VINP’s press secretary calls to say that unfortunately the VINP is running late, so could we re-schedule for 4:30? Of course I say yes.

4:30. Press secretary calls. Unfortunately the VINP is running late. Can we reschedule for 4:45? Of course I say yes.

4:53:30. Press secretary calls. Hold for the VINP, please.

4:56. VINP call ends. Wow. The man gives great soundbite. Quotewise, he’s the best 90 seconds of journalism I’ve ever had. Too bad he probably never even knew my name.

5:10. Get in my car and leave for home. Streets haven’t been plowed at all. Thassokay, it’s not like Hartford is anything important like the capital city of Connecticut or anything. No, wait, it is! Streets still aren’t plowed, though.

5:20. Pull onto Interstate on-ramp.

5:21. Interstate closes.

6:15. Still sitting on the on-ramp.

6:20. Traffic is moving! Hosanna! I’m moving, I’m moving. . . I’m two hundred yards closer to home but now traffic’s stopped again. Another motionless half-hour.

6:50. One-hundred-yard advance. Stop. Curse. Swear. Then notice that if I ride on the shoulder for 20 yards I can reach that next exit, which has been plowed.

7:00. And I see that the alternate road I’d planned to take is impassable. The Interstate’s still closed. Now what? Start driving west. I’ll find my way home somehow.

7:30. Where the hell am I? Some ritzy retail district. Too bad everything’s closed; I’d love nothing more than to stop and ask for directions.

7:45. Also, I need to use the bathroom.

8:00. Hey, I recognize that route number! Somewhere south of here, it eventually reaches an intersection not far from where I live. All I need to do is — no, wait, it’s a hilly road. And it hasn’t been plowed or salted. No way can my car make it. Keep driving down whatever the hell road I’m already on.

8:10. Seriously, I really need to use the bathroom.

8:24. There’s a McDonald’s up ahead. And it’s open! There’s people inside! Oh Ronald, my love, your hamburgers suck but for now I adore you. Going up to the counter, I say in what turns out to be the most unintentionally plaintive voice I’ve ever used, “Can you tell me how to get to [town where I live] without using Interstate 84? It’s closed in both directions.” Staff’s shocked to hear that. Turns out I’m only a few miles north of my destination.

9:00. Home. Finally. Over the course of eleven hours I accomplished nothing except a 90-second phone call.

161 Comments:

Blogger rhhardin said...

Travel by lawn tractor is recommended.

12:31 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

Cheer up Jen,
Make yourself a hot tody and watch the Ron Paul money counter rack up $300,000 per hour. It should crack the 12 million mark very soon.

9:59 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Go Paul! Whoo hoo!

If he doesn't make it, I hope at least the momentum he's generated doesn't fizzle out with his candidacy.

1:49 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

The Paul campaign came very close to hitting $18 million for the fourth squarter by midnight, eastern time, Sunday night. In fact, I believe the last minute contributors crashed the website! By midnight the counter showed about $17,900,000, but due to the fact that they couldn't keep up, it may have been higher. They raised well over $6 mil in twentyfour hours. Quite an accomplishment - but you probably already know all this by now.

One thing I noticed during the last Republican debate: I didn't see anyone laughing at Ron Paul this time. I'd bet none of those asshole candidates ever laugh at him again now.

11:38 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

but due to the fact that they couldn't keep up

Got to talk to Jennifer's editors on the furry story.

I pitched in my $50. First time I've given money to a political candidate as long as I can remember.

Jennifer-Could not you have forwarded the phones?

2:03 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Not that I know of, Moose.

7:17 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Not that I know of, Moose.

Most phone systems will allow you to do so. Might be something to investigate, especially if you have a direct line. Try talking to whomever has your tech support for phones, and forward it to a cell phone or something.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Jennifer,

I just finished reading that super long thread over at H&R and would like to let you know how much I enjoyed your takedown of charming Billy. The laughs I laughed must have added at least ten years to my life span - thanks!!! Little Lazarus, indeed. ROFLMAO
;-)


(Seriously though - that guy is disturbed.)

11:13 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

I just finished reading that super long thread over at H&R

In other words, WTF you talking about?

4:17 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

In other words, WTF you talking about?

Hmm? Oh! This thread here, but it has already been moved to the H&R archives. It's over 1100 (maybe 1200) posts long now. Really slows down my browser, too. Go read some of it; Jennifer really cuts the guy to pieces (he started it) and it was hilarious to read, I think.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Hmm? Oh! This thread here, but it has already been moved to the H&R archives. It's over 1100 (maybe 1200) posts long now.

Well pardon the hell out of me for not being able to make my brain resolve "That long post.." into something specific.

That said, that was pretty funny, especially the caught in the teeth part. Now I need to go find this guy's blog. He sounds like he'd like Jadegold, a pinheaded idiot who blogs at leftrudder.blogsome.com (aka Guy Cabot, Fort Washington MD, (301) 292-6435, just because it drives him so crazy to actually be outed in public...) just to see the now infamous hawaiian shirt. Guy has blocked me for commenting on his lunacy, false assertions that he graduated from a military academy, etc (this bothers me greatly, as I actually DID graduate from one, USNA in the mid 80's).

I also have to go make an appt with Bosley after reading Jennifer's comments on balding men.

1:08 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Oh, THIS is rich, from his blog:
Not by a long shot. Those assholes stepped in it, and now they're going to walk all the way through it. If it takes years and costs millions of lives, they're going to see what I'm telling them or I'm going to run every one of them right out of that thread.

Translation: "I'm a self absorbed arrogant ass, and if you don't agree with me, I'll go postal on you! I was ignored, pay attention to me, you're not listening, pay attention to me!"

Of course, it might help if he was actually telling someone something, but any time someone points out that minor detail he accuses them of not paying attention to him.

I'd say more but I don't want to clutter Jennifer's blog up.

1:17 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Well pardon the hell out of me for not being able to make my brain resolve "That long post.." into something specific.

I figured Jennifer knew which thread I meant - it didn't occur to me that anyone else would care.


I'd say more but I don't want to clutter Jennifer's blog up.


Yes, I quite know what you mean.


I actually DID graduate from one, USNA in the mid 80's

Another Navy man? Jennifer's life seems to be replete with Naval personel.

3:18 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Another Navy man? Jennifer's life seems to be replete with Naval personel.

More a frustrated Marine. Had orders, last minute surgery before graduation left me staff corps, so I went into the CEC because they wear green and carry rifles. If you knew the name and looked me up in the annual from the year I graduated, actually says I went Marine Corps (Corpse?) because the switch happened after publication.

4:57 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

More a frustrated Marine.

Meaning, I'm the guy in the black sheep suit in the corner who everybody pretends not to notice, but I have lots of firearms in case Bendover Billy Boy shows up unannounced with nefarious intent, as he has already publically threatened Jennifer, so everyone kinda tolerates me in an "arm's length" kinda way.

Speaking of Bendover Billy Boy, is this basically a public showing of an ass or what? I know, I said I wouldn't say more, but it's just too hilarious/sad/mental case fodder to resist.

5:08 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Clutter away, gentlemen! Lord knows, SOMEBODY'S got to keep posting here!

Don't take the bald comments seriously. My only point was that photos showing your skinny old balding self should be taken down BEFORE you try to be all "I'm gonna kick your ass" intimidating.

Check out jake's "Parable of the Goatse man" on that thread, for sheer genius brilliance.

6:55 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Check out jake's "Parable of the Goatse man" on that thread, for sheer genius brilliance.

No time to hunt this down. Any idea where (top 1/3, last 10%, etc) this might be?

8:23 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Hey, a worthwhile question in lieu of baiting internet trolls...why only one story this week?

8:35 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Because it's a short holiday week, and we didn't have as much space to fill anyway, what with all the holiday gift guides and other extra stuff. I'll only have one story next week, too, which I had to turn in TODAY (Wednesday), rather than next Monday, because of the stupid holiday print schedule.

I HATE short print weeks. They always seem to come along when I have what could've been a GREAT story if I only had more time. Like the one I turned in today, for which I spoke to a Very Important National Politician. But I'm not happy with it at all.

3:35 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Oh, and here's the Goatse parable. Credit belongs to Jake Boone:

The Parable of the Goatse.cx Guy

Once, there was a dealer in imported jewelry (rings, to be specific) who was having trouble making sales.

His catalog was printed on fine, glossy paper, and showed a closeup of his gaping, distended anus, which he was pulling wide open.

It was his catalog, because in the photo of his gaping, distended anus, his finest ring could be glimpsed upon his finger.

He was surprised that his sales were poor, while his neighbor up the road, who sold jewelry of somewhat lower quality at slightly higher prices, was doing more business than he could handle.

Naturally, he decided that every member of the public who didn't purchase his rings, was merely too stupid to grasp the obvious superiority of his wares.

The merchant became a bitter old man, and developed a taste for Hawaiian shirts.

The Moral: You may have a very beautiful ring, but nobody is willing to spend much time staring into a gaping, distended anus in the hopes that you have something worth examination.

Here endeth the lesson.

4:01 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

But I'm not happy with it at all.

So is there one that you are happy with?

1:35 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Clutter away, gentlemen! Lord knows, SOMEBODY'S got to keep posting here!

Okay, Jennifer:

Re: Charming Billy

A startling thing (to me anyway) is that I think I met this guy once - I mean when he was still just a little kid. (I know - he still acts like one.) In that Hit and Run thread, also on his blog, he talks about listening to some Rational Anarchists on a conservative/libertarian talk radio station in 1969, when he was only thirteen years old - KTRG in Honolulu, Hawaii. He mentions several of them by name. Hell, I knew those guys! I was there at the time. (But most of them were Objectivists or limited government libertarians rather than anarchists.)

It was my first year in the Navy and my boat was homeported in Pearl Harbor. When I had liberty sometimes I would take the bus to Waikiki and hang out at the broadcast studio there on Kalakauwa Ave. - usually about once a week, in the evening. There was a moderator by the name of Paul Lester who had a libertarian- oriented show on in the evening called Symposium; a group of us used to hang around outside the booth and listen while he was on the air and he would join us during breaks and after the show was over. Occasionaly some of us would join him on the air, including myself. We were nearly all of us young adults - mostly college age or slightly post-college age; I was the youngest there.*

There was one man who would sometimes bring his son with him; some of them used to make a big deal of the fact that the kid was already reading politics and philosophy at junior high school age. I don't remember ever speaking to the kid other than a brief introduction, but I would bet that boy became charming Billy. I seem to recall something along the lines of the father having brought him to Hawaii to get him away from his mother in a custody battle. Or perhaps that's just the mists of time clouding my memory. It was, after all, a long time ago.

The station lost it's license sometime in 1970. An old guy who broadcast in the afternoon under the name of Old Ironsides, and who was an ultra-right wing conservative, had called a prominent public figure a commie over the air. Instead of taking the station to court the public figure simply filed a complaint with the FCC and had enough connections to see that the station's license was not renewed. The man who owned it did not have the money to fight it.

I left "the rock" while this was still going on; the submarine I was attached to left for the shipyards in Pascagoula, Mississippi and I got off in Key West. From there I was sent to Newport News, Virginia to join the crew of an aircraft carrier in the yards there. (a few months before you were born, I'd guess.) By the time I ever made it back out to Pearl the station was shut down and all those people had disappeared. I never heard from or saw any of them ever again - except for one who appeared on a television talk show some years later.

But isn't it just wild - after all these years, and quite by chance, that I run across someone from way back then on the Internet? The Web just boggles my mind sometimes.






* Yes, I know - I'm an incredibly old "geezer." But do be nice to me and don't you dare hurt my feelings - else this "open blogging relationship" of ours will end - for I shall leave you, m'love, and I shall never, ever, ever return to you - ever,ever again (sniff). Besides, I have qualities that charming Billy lacks - such as hair and muscles. ;-)

6:23 AM  
Anonymous A moose said...

Yes, I know - I'm an incredibly old "geezer."

No shit, I was like "junior HS, the kid was, now he's in his 50's in his hawaiian shirt and deficient physique"

Besides, I have qualities that charming Billy lacks - such as hair and muscles.

I'm a bit further along in hair loss, myself, at least until Bosley calls me back, but I do have the muscles covered ;)

7:39 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Also, you two guys aren't FROTHING PSYCHOPATHS, which puts you miles above Billy's league.

And the only reason I said anything about his appearance at all was in response to his manly threats to kick my ass or knock out my teeth. I still say my advice to him stands: don't try to cultivate an Internet tough-guy persona if you've already posted a photo showing that you're a skinny little dweeb.

Seriously, even MY weak self could probably hold her own against him.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Jake said...

Thanks for the props re: the parable, Jennifer!

Sometimes, the metaphors just fall from the sky.

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

Yo, "Smartass". Let me fill you in.

"(But most of them were Objectivists or limited government libertarians rather than anarchists.)"

That's right: most of them were.

"There was a moderator by the name of Paul Lester who had a libertarian- oriented show on in the evening called Symposium;..."

Paul Lester is the first person that I ever heard use the term "rational anarchist". I heard Rich Richardson explain it, shortly after. Lester gave my father a copy of Rand's "Capitalism", with a rubber-stamped dollar-sign on the title page. I still have that.

"There was one man who would sometimes bring his son with him; some of them used to make a big deal of the fact that the kid was already reading politics and philosophy at junior high school age. I don't remember ever speaking to the kid other than a brief introduction, but I would bet that boy became charming Billy. I seem to recall something along the lines of the father having brought him to Hawaii to get him away from his mother in a custody battle. Or perhaps that's just the mists of time clouding my memory. It was, after all, a long time ago."

Let me help: that was me. And my mother and father were the loves of each others' lives from the day they met until Dad died after forty-seven years of his only marriage.

(On the KTRG license...)

"The man who owned it did not have the money to fight it."

That's right. His name was David Watamull, and that whole deal was a horrifying display of arbitrary government power. It impressed me mightily. I was in the studio when they signed-off the air for the last time.

10:18 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

don't try to cultivate an Internet tough-guy persona if you've already posted a photo showing that you're a skinny little dweeb.

Then again, there's always Mencia's take on when white guys go off, they flat out go off.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

Ps. --

"I seem to recall something along the lines of the father having brought him to Hawaii to get him away from his mother in a custody battle."

You missed by a mile: my Dad was an Air Force lifer, and stationed at Hickam.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

You missed by a mile: my Dad was an Air Force lifer, and stationed at Hickam.

No, you're just not paying attention.

10:31 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Thanks for the props re: the parable, Jennifer!

Sometimes, the metaphors just fall from the sky.


Kudos, Jake, from me. I had neither the time nor the paitence to wade through the multiple lines of browser slowing scatology to find a gem such as that. I'm glad Jennifer passed it on here.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Moose, you know that you can also just do a page search for "goatse" or "parable."

Yes, Jake, I love those time where the connections and metaphors are so easy it's almost like you're not even writing it yourself; you're just describing this obvious thing you saw. The "ring" connection makes me downright humble in admiration.

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"And the only reason I said anything about his appearance at all was in response to his manly threats to kick my ass or knock out my teeth."

There is nothing true about that. Why can't you deal in facts, Jennifer? What makes you think that you can get away with that, when anyone can go look right at the chronology of that and see for themselves that that's just not true?

And I'll make this point, too: I had no more intention of knocking your teeth out than you had intention of sucking my dick in the first place. You said you would, and if you want to keep playing this the way you have, I'll be happy to let everyone sight know that you're a devoted fellatrix of easy virtue.

I warned you. I can be the sweetest person you ever met, but I'll always meet you on your premises. You're the one who called this play. You don't get to complain about it when it goes pear-shaped on you.

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"He sounds like he'd like Jadegold,..."

I once had that little rat-bastard tossed by his ISP.

Go ask him.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

IIRC, Jennifer responded with a bit of snark to your claim that you didn't care about fashion by mentioning your Hawaiian shirt. The bald and the scrawny didn't come until after your first claim of "Don't fuck with me. I'll eat you alive and never think twice about it."

Where'd the blow job thing come from, though, Billy? In a hithertofore sex-free context, you suddenly leapt straight to "would you suck my dick"?

What does that say about you, dude?

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"IIRC..."

You don't. And you don't have to recall. You could just go look at it.

"The bald and the scrawny didn't come until after your first claim of 'Don't fuck with me. I'll eat you alive and never think twice about it.'"

You're starting in mid-air. She's the one who went anywhere near that whole crashing appearances non-sequitur in the first place. I saw her coming, every step of the way.

"Where'd the blow job thing come from, though, Billy? In a hithertofore sex-free context, you suddenly leapt straight to 'would you suck my dick'?"

It's a natural implication, Jake, that I took all the way to the wall, just like I said I would. Go look at it for yourself. I'd written the word "fashion" referring to nothing but ideas. Jennifer couldn't go any deeper than "Hawaiian shirt". Why don't you ask her: what was the point of that? Well, the point was that she didn't find me attractive, for whatever that was supposed to be worth in that discussion. And the implicit question was, then: how much might that change if I took her advice? Except, of course, that that wasn't my intention. My intent was to rub her nose in her own mess, which I did, just like I said I would.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

You're a loony.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

You have no way of knowing that because you're an imbecile.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

Your posts on that horrific thread stand in testimony to my claim. I need say no more on the matter.

KTHXBYE

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

You have nothing else to say.

2:08 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I love the smell of crazy over Christmas.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

It wears so lovely on you, too.

3:28 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Damn, go do some work for a few minutes and miss a whole bunch.

"He sounds like he'd like Jadegold,..."

I once had that little rat-bastard tossed by his ISP.


Cool, at least you have one redeeming quality.

There is nothing true about that. Why can't you deal in facts, Jennifer?

Actually, she does pretty well with facts. She has a problem with your tone, which belies complete asshole level arrogance. I don't particularly find it appealing either. The problem is that every single post in the Reason thread, on your behalf, degenerated to essentially "Waahh, you're not paying attention to ME, I don't care if I'm an asshole to your reading, it's all about ME." If you want to pollute your own blog, and shut off comments so you can be sure that nobody disagrees with you, that's fine. Don't come here and act disrespectful and expect a warm welcome.

It's a natural implication, Jake, that I took all the way to the wall, just like I said I would.

Case in point. You accuse her of something, it's about you. Your tone is completely "it's all about me!! me!! ME!! I'm sweet, as long as you agree with MEEEEEEEE!!!" By the way, your "taking it to the wall"..does that mean if I mention "Dildo" you jam a watermelon up your ass? I actually thought Jennifer's response was quite humorous to your blow me bit, btw.

Why don't you ask her: what was the point of that?

To respond to your bullshit "I'm going to beat your f-in ass into submission if it kills you" mentality.

Your posts on that horrific thread stand in testimony to my claim.

I agree with Jake, Billy, and I am not an imbecile nor crazy, nor do I suspect Jake is. I have some spelling challenges, but I'm an engineer so it's kind of expected. If you did get Jadegold thrown off his ISP, that is commendable. If you want his home address and phone number, it's posted on a friend's site I'll point you to if you behave yourself.

It wears so lovely on you, too.

Uncalled for, and untrue. While I admit that I have not met Jennifer, I have talked to her a few times and she is most definitely not crazy. Her comment on the general tone of your posts is actually rather true. I don't particularly see what you are trying to communicate in your posts.

I guess the problem is, if you know Guy (Jadegold=Guy Cabot, I'll refer to him by his name from now on because it causes him much stress and that is a find outcome in my world), I can tell you that you're coming off as he does, with a bunch of innane comments which are entirely about seeing yourself type and generally piss of everyone in the local zip code to no constructive end. I would hope this is unintended on your behalf, but you do say in your comments on your blog that your stated intent is to jam your opinion in other people's orifaces, and most assuredly not provide constructive criticism.

4:23 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Damn typos..edit "find" to "fine"

Did say I was spelling challenged.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Jake/SOB/Jennifer/everyone-I feel the need to clarify something. The guy we were referring to, Guy Cabot of Fort Washington MD (aka Jadegold) is one of the most annoying trolls on the internet. He spent a fair bit of time screwing up the blog of a friend of mine, pissing him off to the point where it only stopped when he published his name, address, and phone number. There is actually a blog called "Who is Jadegold", since he's pissed off so many people.

Therefore, if Billy has actually had Guy thrown off his ISP, I publically tip my hat to him and do acknowledge that as a redeeming quality. It is not overall redeeming in my mind, though, and is no excuse for general rudeness. However, it would be a positive stroke for all internet humanity if Guy Cabot was prevented from polluting other people's blogs with his innane blather.

And, yes, for those who know me, the guy really pisses me off.

So, Billy, I have given you public acknowledgement for a public service, which if true was well done. Now, can you please be civil to Jennifer and the rest of us?

4:32 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

Jennifer said she would suck a cock and had no intention of doing so???

Who can believe anything an msm journalist says these days?

Yeah, I know. I'm not helping matters.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I'm not technically part of the MSM, though, NoStar.

4:56 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Jennifer said she would suck a cock and had no intention of doing so???


Technically, I believe he asked if she would blow him, and she said something to the effect of "only if you don't cry when it gets caught in my teeth" or something akin.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"Therefore, if Billy has actually had Guy thrown off his ISP..."

The most recent history of thing is found at Say Uncle's place.

"...I publically tip my hat to him ..."

Forget it. It's nothing more than the right thing.

"Now, can you please be civil to Jennifer and the rest of us?"

Stop it, Moose. I always hate to see anyone that I might respect in any position to have to plead something like that, and it's actually not necessary.

I also always hate to see anyone that I might respect in position to have to offer apology, but that is necessary now. You people and a lot of your pals burned though enormous swathes of that thing saying all kinds of things about me that were patently outrageously false and no reason would penetrate your noises over any of it. All because you don't appreciate my style.

Look: this is not a parlor-game to me.

You people can sit around and blog all you want and crack wise about me all you want, but you might at least bloody well get your facts straight, deal in the ideas, and do it righteously.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

You people can sit around and blog all you want and crack wise about me all you want, but you might at least bloody well get your facts straight, deal in the ideas, and do it righteously.

Fair enough, what facts are there that I do not have straight?

5:26 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Look: this is not a parlor-game to me.

Nor is it to me. I have in no case made any comment in that spirit. Please note I did not comment on that Reason thread, I typically don't just out of time. However, I would say in normal, civil human interaction that if everyone dislikes your tone, you might do well to at least consider changing it, or resign yourself to being treated accordingly. It's your call, just don't get mad at others when they react accordingly.

On a completly unrelated note which you may know about given the comments on your blog, do you know anything about the Dean Gypsy travel guitar? I keep thinking I can put one into one of them pelican rifle cases and have a waterproof travel guitar package for my son when we go on long distance paddle trips.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

Fair enough, what facts are there that I do not have straight?

I preempt Billy:
"You're too dumb to see the facts
They're right in your face"

5:53 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

No parlor game this
but bus'ness most serious,
trolling in blog posts.

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"Fair enough, what facts are there that I do not have straight?"

I don't know. Were you in on it?

It's an editorial "you", Moose.

6:03 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

Ma'am, that word does not cool what you think it does.

6:04 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

I preempt Billy:
"You're too dumb to see the facts
They're right in your face"


C'mon now, I'm trying to give the man a break and a chance to show that he can actually engage in normal rational discussion, besides the fact that I don't want to drop $300 plus a couple hundred dollar case on a guitar that's worthless (even if that's pretty much what was going on during the Reason post..you did nail it).
Hey, the guy DID get Guy Cabot thrown off his ISP, apparantly, and I find that quite cool. Just reading the posts on that. BTW, Billy, if you want to call him and say hello, his phone number is posted here, along with the address if you want to send him an christmas card or something too.

No parlor game this
but bus'ness most serious,
trolling in blog posts.


If you want to say "Moose, shut up", just do so, I'll be ok. Besides, Bosley is supposed to return my call ANY minute now. Really, they are, as soon as the title search clears on the house...

I don't know. Were you in on it?

In on what?

6:05 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"In on what?"

Do you mean to tell me that I just wrote up my summary position for you and you didn't know what I was talking about?

6:11 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

C'mon now, I'm trying to give the man a break and a chance to show that he can actually engage in normal rational discussion [...]

I can see your point
Sixteen hundred posts ago
I hoped the same thing

6:15 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

Do you mean to tell me that I just wrote up my summary position for you and you didn't know what I was talking about?

And he's right on time!
Beck races to prove my point
Like clockwork, that guy

6:17 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Fish in a barrel
pose more of a challenge than
such precognition.

6:33 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

I drew on my pipe
And blew smoke to the ceiling
In a great, gray sigh.

('scuse me for repeat posting that over here, but it's the only one I got. I wrote poetry all through my teens, but I lost the knack sometime in my early twenties.)

So sorry, Jen, for bringing all this mess over here to your blog. It's like it's beginning to suck in the entire web - like some sort of Internet black hole. Don't get too close to the edge - you don't want to get sucked into the abyss. :-)

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"Who do you think you're foolin'
With your cozmik debris?"


(FZ)

7:36 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

Who am I fooling?
Behold your own behavior.
Right back at ya, dick.

8:21 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"'Haiku' is supposed to carry a picture, dummy, and now you're just waving a stick in the air. You're out of your own pool, kid.

At least you managed to hip-shake around what I said, though, so I have to give you that."


You're making this way too easy, Boone. All I have to do is bring the same dead fish from that other barrel to whack you in the head.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

Snow falls on cedars
Billy is a raging cunt.
There. You happy now?

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

It needs Worcestershire sauce.

You know; on the pilfered cedars.

9:47 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

You disappoint us
You used to sound so angry
Now you just sound old.

9:56 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

You're what's "old", Boone.

But no less septic.

10:04 PM  
Blogger Ron said...

Jennifer, with respect:

I don't really have a bone in this dogfight, but I gotta tell ya this:

I think absolutely the most unfortunate thing about the hassle over at H&R (apart from the more global implications of NORML's cowtowing) is that you and Billy got started off on the wrong foot, since I gather you hadn't encountered each other before.

And I think it's unfortunate because when I look around your blog I think you're pretty firmly headed in a good direction overall.

I hate it when I see crap like this fuck up what in any other circumstance I can think of would be a good thing. You're misreading Billy and I've known him over 10 years.

You'll notice, too, that Moose is getting *no* crap from Billy.

Just sayin (and if you're distrustful, take a look around my blog. I doubt you'll find anything that twigs yer spidey-sense)...

Onward.

11:03 PM  
Anonymous gee said...

I read some of that Reason thread, and here's my take:

Jennifer initiated by expressing contempt for Billy's "debating technique".

Billy advised to consider the "ideas", instead.

Jennifer introduced harmless, yet gratuitous nonetheless, insult with, "Link to a photo of somebody with muscles instead."

Billy saw the insult, then raised it with, "Would you suck my dick if I did?"

Although Billy's comment was crass, I don't think it was out of bounds, considering not only Jennifer's initiating insult but also the nature of it. IOW, there was a subtle point behind Billy's crass question.

I thought Jennifer's retort brilliant - "So long as you promise not to whine too much after it gets caught between my teeth." - as I received it with double meaning (intended?): It could be a shot at his manhood (size), or a threat to bite.

I though Billy's response equally sharp - "Knocking a few of them out would solve that problem." - as I also received it with double meaning (intended?): 'I'm bigger than you know', as well as the retaliation angle.

To this point, I figured I was merely observing some entertaining flirting. Jennifer makes a vague yet alluring "real life" statement, and Billy takes the bait ("shoot me your address").

Then all hell breaks loose, as Jennifer surprisingly (to me, anyway) chooses to categorize Billy's comments as "threatening to kick a woman's ass over the Internet". Billy spots the 'victim playing', and quickly retreats, and Jennifer then follows him around for a while.

At least that's how I took it all.

I'll refrain from passing judgement on the other exchanges in that painfully long thread involving Billy, except to observe that one of the parties has resorted to haiku. Speaks for itself.

11:33 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"...one of the parties has resorted to haiku."

Bloody gibberish in a cephalopod's ink-cloud.

"Speaks for itself."

I'll say. And how.

11:55 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Dammit, a man can't even get half a night's sleep around here without missing all kinds of things.

2:07 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Do you mean to tell me that I just wrote up my summary position for you and you didn't know what I was talking about?

Perhaps, that's what I'm trying to figure out. Let's go to the instant replay. I think it started here from your post:

You people can sit around and blog all you want and crack wise about me all you want, but you might at least bloody well get your facts straight, deal in the ideas, and do it righteously.

Not really being one of "you people", I don't think, though I didn't object at the time, I asked:

Fair enough, what facts are there that I do not have straight?

Up to this point, I have asked for a clarification of your statement that "you people" don't have facts straight, in an effort to determine if I actually constitute one of the aforementioned "you people". I don't believe we have a summary position yet. Let us continue, roll the tape. Your response was:

I don't know. Were you in on it?

It's an editorial "you", Moose.


Ok, at this point, I have no idea what you are asking me I was "in" on, there must be some code I'm missing here, so in good faith I ask, in the same post containing my guitar question:

In on what?

The response to which is the intial quote on this post.

So, I guess I missed something, please clarify.

2:27 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Paul Lester is the first person that I ever heard use the term "rational anarchist". I heard Rich Richardson explain it, shortly after. Lester gave my father a copy of Rand's "Capitalism", with a rubber-stamped dollar-sign on the title page.

Paul Lester was one of the limited-government libertarians or a student of Objectivism. Occasionally he would play tapes of some of Ayn Rand's speeches over the air. He drove an old Chevy station wagon and was or had been in the Coast Guard Reserve, I believe. He had an abiding interest in Chinese culture and civilization, was quiet, a patient listener, and a good friend; he'd give me a ride back out to the base sometimes. The rubber dollar-sign stamp also rings a bell. Be nice to know whatever became of Paul.

Richard was the rational anarchist of the group. He wore a dollar-sign medallion around his neck that he had made from an old silver fifty-cent piece. Another quiet guy whom I've always associated with the actor, Richard Widmark - I'm not sure why.

There were a few others in the group that stand out in my memory. There was Jack Wheeler, a young, outgoing guy who was already independently wealthy at age twenty-five. He was a graduate student at the University of Hawaii and tried to start a campus Objectivist Society; it fell through. He was also an atheist and led an on-air discussion of atheism one evening - this on a station whose audience was very right-wing conservative. (That was fun! lol) He had a very pretty girlfriend with long brown hair, but I don't remember her name. Jack was what most people would describe as a real winner.

There was another student who had recently got out of the Navy - Russel or Forest somebody. There was an old middle-aged guy who sported an affectatious monocle and called himself von somebody or something; he had a young roomate/protege named Perry. They came out to the base and took a tour of the submarine once. And there was a young inter-racial couple - white guy, black woman - which was unusual for the times even in Hawaii. Sometimes after the show we used to all go over to the island's only kosher delicatessan, which was owned by an ethnic Chinese. Don't recall the name of it.

But I begin to ramble here. There would be no particular reason for you to remember me, Beck - I never came to the station in uniform and as I've said, I had no particular dealings with you other than an introduction perhaps. As for your father I might remember him, if I saw a photo of him - Hickam Field sounds familar, but of course it would to anyone who spent time out there. Post an old picture of him on your blog sometime and maybe I'll recognize him.

3:36 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

"I seem to recall something along the lines of the father having brought him to Hawaii to get him away from his mother in a custody battle."

You missed by a mile: my Dad was an Air Force lifer, and stationed at Hickam.


For some reason I associate a child-custody fight with that period in Hawaii. Not you? Well then as I said - the mists of time - and all that. Sometimes memories get garbled - like code on a hard drive.

3:49 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

No parlor game this
but bus'ness most serious,
trolling in blog posts.

If you want to say "Moose, shut up", just do so, I'll be ok.



Yeah, Jennifer, I'll be okay, too. I mean that I'll shut up as well, if you wish. No worries.

5:31 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

You misunderstand.
"Parlor game" comment quoth Bill;
Trolling is his life.

7:30 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

I understand all
I am smartass s.o.b.
Trolling - ha! Some life!

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"Trolling is his life."

Honey, a second-hand Usenet license that caught your eye while you were on your knees in some net.alley is not what it takes to finger what you think you see.

8:40 AM  
Anonymous just a lurker guy said...

I'm just a lurker. Really, I am. I have no dog in this fight. I have only sat and watched the fur fly.

More to the point, I'm a longtime lurker: I remember Billy Beck's stuff on Usenet from more than a decade ago. I know who Jennifer is via Hit & Run. I even know that Jake Boone has a beard, because I recall his photo from that one site/blog where they do the meta-gabbing about Hit & Run.

And I've always appreciated you all.

In other words, I'm about as close to a neutral-but-informed observer as you're likely to find.

Having read the monster thread at Hit & Run, off and on over the past few days, my judgment/assessment is that the treatment of Beck has been at times breathtakingly misguided. I've watched as people there have read his posts, which seem clear as day to me, then attacked him or his words as if they'd just read something entirely different.

I mean, I know: This is the Internet, and specifically an Internet forum, and that's what happens in Internet forums. Assumptions get made, context gets lost, flames erupt, etc. etc. But the most frustrating thing with this one, I think, is that Billy Beck, ultimately, is your ally. At least from my vantage point. You're all fighting for the freedom cause, and Beck is one of your hardcore fighters.

Instead, reading that thread and this one, it looks like a lot of people forgot about that bigger fight, and decided the more important thing was protecting the Hit & Run turf, protecting the sanctity of the "community."

Again, I'm talking about my perspective on the whole thing: For me, it's just one big Internet, and across it I have become acquainted over the years with a bunch of freedom-proponents. Then one week I see some of these folks happen to wind up together in one particular nook. And I discover that for a few of them, what appears to be most valued is the nook itself, rather than the bigger cause in which I'd watched them all participating this whole time.

The cause for much of the friction boils down to this, I think: There are people who like to think and talk about personalities, and there are people who like to think and talk about ideas. The former type has more trouble comprehending the latter than vice versa, I think, because they view everything through the lens of thinking-about-personalities, and thus assume that's what everyone else is doing too.

Hence the "Internet Tough Guys" line that winds through that Hit & Run thread, directed toward Beck and a few others by people who are drastically misinterpeting the tone of their posts. An "Internet Tough Guy" is some dude who sits on a message board bellowing about kicking asses and whatnot. An "Internet Tough Guy" is a thinking-about-personalities type. I didn't see Beck et al. doing that, at all. I saw them talking about ideas. But people who view the world through the thinking-about-personalities lens have difficulty grokking it all.

There's no real point to my post here; I'm not out to declare a "winner" in this thing. I guess it's merely a plea if not for peace than for understanding. Quite literally. Because from what I've seen, a lot of you guys aren't. And it would be cool if you were, or could.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

All right, I'll abandon haiku long enough to be serious: If I get to be 51 years old (or 41, for that matter) and have nothing better to do with my remaining time on earth than to elbow my way into Internet forums to irritate the regulars, and cajole my online buddies to follow me there with posts about how my awesomeness just isn't being properly appreciated, I sincerely think I'd contemplate a quick and suicide, because existence without dignity is too glum a prospect to contemplate.

Billy, you're old enough to be a grandfather, for Chrissakes. Hell, you're older than my grandparents were in my earliest memories of them. Behave accordingly, and stop trying so hard to make yourself matter to people for whom you don't. It's not just annoying; it's pathetic, and I'm wincing with embarrassment at the sight of an old man with nothing better to do with his existence than troll the obscure blog of a woman young enough to be his daughter.

You're no better than those Randian altruists who would force their "help" on people whether they want it or not. You narcissistically refuse to consider the possibility that others view you as a worthless and emotionally unstable annoyance; rather, convinced of your own as-yet-unrealized value to others, you tell yourself you're owed a certain level of admiration and anyone who doesn't give it to you is robbing you of what's legitimately yours.

I'm going to be offline most of the day. I'm guessing that when I return I'll see a good many more comments telling me again that I just don't understand the greatness of Billy or my own unjust treatment of him.

You are, be definition, at the center of your own personal universe, but you're barely on the fringes of my own. Accept this and move on.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Pssst-SASOB,over here, make sure you close the 8" thick metal blast door behind you. Hurry!

9:52 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"All right, I'll abandon haiku long enough to be serious..."

Which makes obvious what you'll be when you return to it.

"...elbow my way into Internet forums to irritate the regulars..."

Give up the implicit claim that you hold some kind of proprietary interest in that place. You don't, and it is transparent nonsense.

"...and cajole my online buddies to follow me there..."

You couldn't prove that with a gun to your head because it's not true. Everybody who posts there does so on their own exclusively authority and responsibility.

"I sincerely think I'd contemplate a quick and suicide, because existence without dignity is too glum a prospect to contemplate."

That must be why you suck net.dicks.

"Billy, you're old enough to be a grandfather, for Chrissakes."

That has nothing to do with any of this.

"...nothing better to do with his existence than troll the obscure blog of a woman young enough to be his daughter."

You just keep waving that word around as if it actually addresses facts, and see how far you get.

"You narcissistically refuse to consider the possibility that others view you as a worthless and emotionally unstable annoyance..."

Bullshit. That's what you think. I consider it all the time. My reasoned conclusion is different from yours. Don't confuse this.

"You are, be definition, at the center of your own personal universe, but you're barely on the fringes of my own."

That is exactly as it should be, except for thing thing: your bullshit about me will never go unmet.

I warned you when you started this.

10:09 AM  
Anonymous just a lurker guy said...

With all due respect, this is what I meant by intuitively viewing the world through the lens of personalities first and foremost:

If I get to be 51 years old (or 41, for that matter) and have nothing better to do with my remaining time on earth than to elbow my way into Internet forums to irritate the regulars and cajole my online buddies to follow me there...

"Regulars"? See, that gets to the whole thing I was saying. Why do the people matter more than what they say? At a dating board -- sure. At some libertarian forum -- why??? It's not yours. It's a place where words are assembled and ideas conveyed. That people happen to establish familiarity while doing it, that they become "regulars," is just that -- happenstance. It's not the fundamental thing.

Seeing it foremost as a community with "regulars," in which outsiders "elbow" their way in, is part of the very worldview that is causing your dissonance with Beck's posts and replies in the first place, I think. You're not seeing the different manner and context in which someone else's arguments might be presented.

And this is what I meant by misinterpretations of Billy Beck's writings:

...with posts about how my awesomeness just isn't being properly appreciated

That simply isn't the vibe I get off of the guy. Honestly, it's like we're reading two different things.

I'm not one of the "online buddies," by the way. I did get here from a link on his blog, which -- like Hit & Run and a gazillion other sites -- is in my daily bookmarks. You can both scan your IP in-and-outs, or parse my writing style, to figure out if you have the slightest clue who I am. Trust me: You don't, and he doesn't either. I am, as I say, just a lurker. Well, I was.

10:14 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"Seeing it foremost as a community with 'regulars,' in which outsiders 'elbow' their way in, is part of the very worldview that is causing your dissonance with Beck's posts and replies in the first place, I think. You're not seeing the different manner and context in which someone else's arguments might be presented."

What she's not seeing is essentials. So far, she's paper-thin.

There is nothing inconsistent in the fact that I've already pointed out here: "she couldn't go any deeper than 'Hawaiian shirt'."

That was a dead-giveaway, and for all her urgings toward other peoples' introspection, she's as blind as a bat when it comes to what's really important about her in all this.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Any further comments from Billy and friends will be deleted without being read, making them an even bigger waste of time than they already are for you.

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

Take a good long look around, Jennifer at my record. I don't know what an "internet tough guy" is: you're the one who was making all that noise. All I know is what I've seen and done on the internet for almost half your lifetime, and on other online outlets long before that. You have not seen "tough" yet. I'll pick over your blog every single day, and you'll never know when I take it in mind to go to my blog and rip you from asshole to cum-catcher. It'll be easy, because you're an idiot, and there will be a lot to work with.

You have no idea what you've opened up.

Before I'm done with you, you'll be begging to suck my dick. And I'll never let you.

4:43 PM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

"you'll never know when I take it in mind to go to my blog and rip you from asshole to cum-catcher. "

oh noes! He's going to GO to his BLOG and like, make fun of you! Dear God, what are we going to do?

Billy, do you do parties? Like, I mean, will come and entertain all of my friends, because you are positively adorable!

5:07 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Whoops, AR responded before I could delete that one (as I had the other two). But it really is too funny to delete.

Billy--you're taking this-whole Internet thing waaaay too seriously, dude.

5:25 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

It's a lot more serious than you are, "Genius".

5:37 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

Lurker -

I see your point, certainly. But I also see Beck's final post here. Frankly, there are a lot of people in the world, and we all have to make choices on the best candidates on whom to spend our efforts. I did give it a shot -- I even called him, hoping something would be... different, somehow, with a human voice -- and I'm forced to conclude that trying to communicate usefully with Beck, to me, just isn't worth any serious effort at this point.

5:54 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

...I also see Beck's final post here.

Yes, I see it as well (or rather, I see the one made at 4:43 pm) - and I'm sure that many others have seen it. Pity - not sympathy,but real pity - is truly a disgusting emotion to have to feel toward another human being.

7:08 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

Oops... yes, the 4:43 one was the one I was referring to. Thanks for catching that.

7:17 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Bam! Bam! Bam! Damn it, Moose, open the door and let me back in, guy! C'mon, hurry up! ;-)

7:19 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Pity - not sympathy,but real pity - is truly a disgusting emotion to have to feel toward another human being.

That exactly nails what I was trying to express.

7:46 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

That exactly nails what I was trying to express.

Credit where credit is due:
It's something that Ayn Rand wrote many years ago. It has always stuck with me.

7:59 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

and rip you from asshole to cum-catcher. It'll be easy, because you're an idiot, and there will be a lot to work with.
You have no idea what you've opened up.
Before I'm done with you, you'll be begging to suck my dick. And I'll never let you.


Nice. Next he'll threaten to take you out of his will.

Jennifer, the offer is still open if you want to travel down home ways and we can do a bit of training, since it appears you have what could very easily turn into a psycho stalker. The man has threated physical violence a couple of times. Fortunately, when I was in bodyguard training they said that people that threaten are not the ones that are physically dangerous, for the most part. This guy threatens, then he disavows, then he threatens again. Interesting pattern.

8:21 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"psycho stalker"

{hah!} +1 to the people who predicted this in my e-mail.

Really, y'all; I've seen actual commies snivel better than that.

9:01 PM  
Blogger dhex said...

oh noes he's going to post mean things

oh noes

oh god oh god oh god


also needs more haiku


stringy-haired blowjob
you will beg to service him
also pigs fly now


we now have our proof
ayn rand causes soul cancer
i blame the haircut

11:12 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Really, y'all; I've seen actual commies snivel better than that.

No, Billy, I'm not engaging in "snivel", I'm just noting you've threatened her with physical harm at least twice here, and I don't know how many times elsewhere. I regard that as very serious, as I hope she does. You might want to restrain yourself.

3:43 AM  
Anonymous Scott Erb said...

Billy's been a net loon for quite some time. He takes himself and the internet too seriously, and has a real problem with reality. It takes all kinds to make up a world.

4:12 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Loon or not, to come up with a phrase such as rip you from asshole to cum-catcher tells me he's got a pretty sick mind. I know a woman who was raped with a knife this way, and had this exact type of damage. Fortunately she was freed by private security forces before he got much further along, but there was a lot of damage as well as emotional trauma which never really heals.

It is not a rational mind that comes up with this kind of stuff, I'm sure someplace he's had some lurid fantasy about actually cutting a woman's genitals, I really do hope that he has not done so yet.

Despite his attempts to belittle his own filth by writing stuff like {hah!} +1 to the people who predicted this in my e-mail., the fact remains he has publicly physically threatened a woman with genital mutilation. Most sane people wouldn't conceive of raping someone with a cutting instrument, nor consider the damage that might cause, much less crow about it in public. I remember when I was presented with the story from the woman to whom this was done, it made me about physically sick, as would it to most people. This guy has obviously not only considered it, he seems to relish in the thought.

Therefore, this is a sick mind, who has already said he would stalk Jennifer. He seems to be entertained that I point this out. I am much less entertained by his actions.

I would hope that when he gets around to actually attempting to assault a woman, which probably is only a matter of time as he exhibits such a small amount of impulse control and a deity complex, that she's well prepared.

5:05 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

On a much more lighthearted note, anyone else note that this thread is pretty much the blog equivalent of Jennifer's day she wrote about initially?

5:07 AM  
Anonymous Mike S. said...

Hey Erb,

Is it lovely in Sweden yet?

(...you asshole.)

7:54 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

anyone else note that this thread is pretty much the blog equivalent of Jennifer's day she wrote about initially?

I noticed the same thing. Longest drive ever : little accomplished; longest comment thread ever: little accomplished.

Except that, while I jokingly anthropomorphized Mother Nature long enough to accuse her of child abuse, at no point did I gaze upon her with a horrified pity that made me cringe and say "Seriously, get yourself some help."

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

Erb, already. Hail, hail, the gang's all here.

Y'all know you've got an outright commie ringing in now, right?

You should really enjoy that. You deserve it.

Hey, "moose": "a cutting instrument..." Go ahead and cite that. I'll wait.

8:41 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

What, in particular, do you want me to cite? Or, perhaps, are you advocating mechanically ripping a woman's genitals now?

I would again caution that you consider exhibiting some minor degree of impulse control.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

Oh boy, the whole gang of crazy's over here.

Mike S, I noticed you dropped out the thread over at Reason pretty early; looks like you noticed you were a little over your head, you pathetic intellectual lightweight.

beck, go over and talk about your delusions of astounding victory on your BLOG OF POWER...

And billy? You're still a liar.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I continue to be amazed not even by the underlying crazy so much as the mindset "I'm doing something Serious and Important by trolling the obscure blog of a woman young enough to be my daughter." Fifty-one years of existence and that's where your road takes you?

9:06 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

beck, go over and talk about your delusions of astounding victory on your BLOG OF POWER...

That would be preferable to fantasies of mutilating women.

I noticed the same thing. Longest drive ever : little accomplished; longest comment thread ever: little accomplished.

Ain't it so?

Billy, your words, from this thread alone:
And I'll make this point, too: I had no more intention of knocking your teeth out than you had intention of sucking my dick in the first place.
a) You brought up oral sex, not her, b) Why do you threaten violence then run from it? At least stand up to your threats and don't disavow them.
My intent was to rub her nose in her own mess, which I did, just like I said I would.
Likening another human being to training a puppy? Nice. Makes us believe you had no intent of physical violence previously noted. Right, got it.
All I have to do is bring the same dead fish from that other barrel to whack you in the head.
Again, allusions to physical violence, which you ::ahem:: have no intent towards, none at all, nope, not a bit.

So, anyway, I asked a couple questions which you ignored, and later you come up with:

That is exactly as it should be, except for thing thing: your bullshit about me will never go unmet.

I warned you when you started this.

Which gives nobody a reason to infer violent intent from this. Right. Gotcha. It's a clear threat, true, but no violent intent.
You have not seen "tough" yet. I'll pick over your blog every single day, and you'll never know when I take it in mind to go to my blog and rip you from asshole to cum-catcher.

So we get to the limit where you really go offline. No violence here?

How about:
You have no idea what you've opened up.

Then, you seem to be amused that I point out that the above chain of comments exhibits: 1) violent thoughts, 2) a stated intent to stalk, 3) self delusional deity complex.

So what was it again you wanted me to cite, Billy? In the beginning, I thought you just had some issues with interpersonal relations, somewhat annoying but harmless on the whole, definitely not to the annoyance level and outright nefarious intent as Guy Cabot. After this rant of yours, I'm not so sure. Show me something to prove differently, thought I respect Jennifer I am always willing to listen.

9:10 AM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

"I'm doing something Serious and Important by trolling the obscure blog of a woman young enough to be my daughter."

Well, the crazy and the above statement are the same...delusions of grandeur, a common thread with these looney-toons.

And yeah, if you never let yourself live in 51 years and permanently reveled in your victimhood status, I'd guess that you'd find happiness where you could, too.

And billy beck is still a liar.

9:13 AM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

"self delusional deity complex."

Let's make this official. I hereby submit for the Nobel committee our discovery of a new disease:

Medical-official type sounding name:
Self delusional deity complex, or SDDC, for extra importance.

Eponym: Billy Beck's disease

ALS:Lou Gehrig's::SDDC: Billy Beck's

Take that shit Al Gore! In your FACE!

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"What, in particular, do you want me to cite?"

Exactly what you wrote. Can you read?

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"Fifty-one years of existence and that's where your road takes you?"

Dahlink, I am a multi-tasking ace. This is bagatelle.

10:33 AM  
Blogger dhex said...

bet you didn't know
that aristotle was queer
hence need for togas

10:43 AM  
Anonymous A moose said...

Exactly what you wrote. Can you read?

Yes. I'm asking for clarification, as you are disorganized as hell when it comes to statements, and I'm trying to evaluate if your statement is something worth responding to, so I want to make sure there is no misunderstanding.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

There isn't, moose.

I understand it all perfectly.

11:10 AM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

Uh oh, the old man's SDDC is flaring up again. Quit, somebody get him a tax-free cigarette...I wouldn't want the guilt to kill him!

And billy, you're still a liar.

And unhappy.

11:54 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

There isn't, moose.

I understand it all perfectly.


I am happy for you that you understand things so perfectly, I can see how you would arrive at that conclusion.

Unfortunately, I remain quite unconvinced about your previous threats which I have noted above. A quick reading of CT law would give the layman cause to believe you have committed at least a Class C misdemeanor (53a.183), which I wouldn't want to mess with simply because of the hassle factor as they can drag your ass down to CT for a psych eveal. Then again, you've also already committed a Class A misdemeanor to the layman's reading in NY State (Penal code, 204.30), so perhaps running afoul of legal hassle is just another page in the book of Billy, I don't know.

So, let me ask, what exactly are you intending with your statements I've noted in the previous post? I would again urge restraint, but it's your nickel, so knock yourself out.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Jake said...

Billy understands
All that Billy says, which proves
Everything, you see?

12:00 PM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

moose, in case you didn't know, billy is psychologically unwell (SDDC and all that); also, though, he currently has an outstanding bill in the six figures with the Internal Revenue Service.

Note that I don't think he owes them anything, however, I doubt that his cyberstalking crimes are going to cause him to lose sleep at his family-run charity shack.

12:36 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

I doubt that his cyberstalking crimes are going to cause him to lose sleep at his family-run charity shack.

I wonder if his family knows what he does online? I wonder how his ma would feel about the way he talks to women? For that matter, I wonder how his father would have felt about it; I can't imagine that an Air Force lifer would think that's the way for a man to talk to them. I've always felt kind of sorry for parents who have kids like that. Must really be hard on them.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

I can't imagine that an Air Force lifer would think that's the way for a man to talk to them.

Well, I'd agree with that, I guess, but sexism aside, one shouldn't talk to another person in such a manner, regardless of their sexual organs.

The interesting thing is that it's counterintuitive for Billy's world. While I admit that I haven't read much of his Reason postings, I infer that he's an anarchist from comments about him. That's fine, I don't particularly care, but if one is an anarchist it would not make sense to go around pissing people off. There will be nobody to protect you if you eliminate the govt, and unless Billy has some hidden closet of ultimate badass around, I would think he would be in need of protection if someone went hunting for him.

AR-Yep, I consider that a real possibility. I have to ask though, he's exhibiting a lot of stalker behavior, and with the violent imagery he's consistently using, there is some measure of concern warranted. If he was ever to carry his fantasy where he's the all knowing font of everything into the real world, it would be no small measure of concern warranted.

Does make sense why he posted his SSN over on Reason, at least I heard he did. If you owe the IRS six figures of american greenbacks, nobody can do much to your credit.

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"I remain quite unconvinced..."

I understand that, and I also understand that nothing is going to bring you to reason over it. You're just going to have to sit there and fret.

1:29 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

I understand that, and I also understand that nothing is going to bring you to reason over it. You're just going to have to sit there and fret.

That is a completely incorrect statement, you can do a lot to address concerns. You can stand up and address your statements, disavow and explain them, yet you choose not to. That speaks volumes as to your intent.

I don't particularly fret, I just don't like someone threatening women because they are apparantly deficient in manhood. It's one of the areas I allow myself to be sexist.

It's Jennifer's call, not mine, as to whether your proclimation that you would stalk her and do violence upon her body is something she wants to contact the police about. She has asked me my opinion privately and I've given it to her.

Personally, I have nothing to fret about, I have given you the respect of being straightforward to you, not calling you names, nor engaging in this haiku stuff. What I have done is pointed out where you have crossed lines and have offered you an opportunity to explain yourself. You refuse, ok. As I said, it's your nickel.

Now go away, you've shown your ass here and it's time for you to leave.

1:45 PM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

I'm almost tempted, upon re-reading "V for Vendetta" to dub Billy as having "'V' Syndrome"...which is instructive in that "V" was pretty SDDC himself.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"I just don't like someone threatening women because they are apparantly deficient in manhood. It's one of the areas I allow myself to be sexist."

Watch closely, because I'm going to cut and paste this very slowly for you: "I had no more intention of knocking your teeth out than you had intention of sucking my dick in the first place." Do you understand? I still don't. And you can be sexist about it all you want to but that won't validate any delusions that you have over it, to include your ridiculous webbed-up psychoanalyses.

You're not interested to have your "concerns address[ed]", so don't even hand me that. They're doing exactly what they're designed to do, and that's why I see no way that you're going to give them up.

3:43 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

You're not interested to have your "concerns address[ed]", so don't even hand me that. They're doing exactly what they're designed to do, and that's why I see no way that you're going to give them up.

Actually, I am. You presume much. I don't play, Billy, you don't know me so you don't understand that, but please hear me on this.

"I had no more intention of knocking your teeth out than you had intention of sucking my dick in the first place."

Given that you brought up the dick sucking to begin with..what is your intent in saying this? Can you read, I've asked this a number of times? If I say, "Billy, I'm going to kick your ass", you can rest assured that I will physically, after beating you to a bloody pulp, physically kick your ass. So, I don't say such silliness. You say "I'll knock your teeth out", now you say we're not suppposed to pay attention to that.

Ok, so what ARE we supposed to pay attention to? I see a man threatening someone with physical violence, then pretending he didn't really mean it, but all the while insisting that people pay attention to him. That's a dangerous combination.

It's easy, if you didn't mean it, apologize for threatening physical violence and stop threatening. You refer to the first instance, there are others, are we supposed to take your first denial as a denial against all? Just the first? Some?

Come on Billy, I'm paying very close attention, this is what you want I believe. Tell me how you really didn't mean that you wanted to mutilate a woman's genitals, kick her teeth out, etc. Tell us why the hell you are saying it if you didn't, because you want so much that we pay attention to your every word, and accuse me of not being able to read when I ask for clarification.

My words are designed to get an answer from you as to what you intend. Obviously, they're not working, despite your assertions to the contrary. You're starting to piss me off now as you lack the intestinal fortitude to stand up to your attacks. At least be proud of them, stand up to them, and own your own bullshit.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"Given that you brought up the dick sucking to begin with..."

I have told you what that was about as clearly as it can possibly be put.

This is an example of why I am convinced that you're not interested. I'm not going to chase you around in circles about it.

8:00 PM  
Blogger dhex said...

haiku haiku hai
blowjob blowjob blowjob blow
haiku, blowjob, yes

8:08 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

This is an example of why I am convinced that you're not interested. I'm not going to chase you around in circles about it.

This is why you make no headway, you complain people don't pay attention, but apparantly we're only supposed to pay attention to what you want us to, but we're not supposed to pay attention to what we're not supposed to, and if we can't figure it out, we're stupid, especially if we ask a question to clarify your doublespeak.

Your words, Billy. To quote your words further "You started this.." and all that blather of going pear on you to boot. All I'm doing is mirroring your words and giving you an opportunity to answer for them, and you consistently refuse. I point out that's an answer in itself, and you get your panties in a bunch and claim I don't want to understand. When I point this out, you claim you're not going to chase me around in circles.

I think you're coming through very clearly, Billy. I don't think you like the picture that comes through, you'd rather live in the world where you can say stuff like "these poor people" and feel all warm and fuzzy about your cowardly can't stand up for your own words self. Your warm fuzzy world on your blog where you don't allow comments, don't engage in constructive criticism, and life revolves around you, and only you.

This is all well and good in Billy world, so go live there, be well, and have fun. Just don't come around other people, threaten them with physical harm, and expect us to reside in Billyworld with you and send you meaningless blather about how much we enjoy you being around.

The best part is, Jennifer has far more moral courage than you, to allow you, and anyone else who disagrees with her, to freely post their disagreement here. She has exhibited remarkable restraint in this thread in not using here "Goddess of this here blog" powers by hitting the "Delete" key on comments. You, on the other hand, can't seem to handle the lack of control which allowing people to freely disagree would bring on your blog. Then again, that is Billyworld.

This is the real world, Billy, not Billyworld. You're entirely free to converse, disagree, etc. However, you are NOT entirely free to threaten others. This obviously doesn't work for you, you don't like the reflection, you resort to accusing me of not wanting to understand. Fine, I admit I don't want to live in Billyworld. Go away.

Go back to Billyworld, leave us be.

3:27 AM  
Anonymous SASOB said...

There was Jack Wheeler, a young, outgoing guy who was already independently wealthy at age twenty-five. He was a graduate student at the University of Hawaii and tried to start a campus Objectivist Society;


For what it's worth: This Jack Wheeler.

7:21 AM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

Personally, I think the only way the old man with SDDC is going to learn that this isn't Billyworld is being banned.

Actions have consequences; being an asshole gets you ostracized.

7:26 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

True fact: a few months ago I had a bunch of Nazis--literal Nazis, all "heil Hitler" and "fuck those evil Jews"--furious with me over a story I wrote in the paper. They bitched about me extensively on their Nazi forum, and posted my photo and links to my blog there, and discussed some rather nasty things they felt I deserved to have happen to me. (Though their rape fantasies and forced-sex imagery were of the traditional variety, with no genital cutting involved).

Around that same time I also had a bunch of Islamists angry at me over another story I wrote. Then, of course, there's the group of local Democrats/quasi-socialists who LOATHE me for having the gall to fill their local paper with libertarian-themed anti-government news articles. Whenever you see me or my blog mentioned on their Web site, I guarantee it'll be in an entirely unflattering context.

Neo-Nazis. Fundie Islamists. My-way-or-the-highway socialists. All dislike me and all know of the existence of this obscure little blog where I shoot the breeze with a few like-minded people. But none of them were crazy enough to think that posting unwanted and threatening comments here would do anything to further their cause or make themselves look better in the eyes of the sane.

Billy's literally behaving worse than Islamic fundies, Hitler fanatics and for-the-chillun yuppie socialists combined.

8:36 AM  
Blogger dhex said...

islamists: worse than
nazis and yuppie socialists
also miss the mark

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"However, you are NOT entirely free to threaten others."

If you idiots actually had a real case, you'd try it far beyond a place like this.

4:53 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

If you idiots actually had a real case, you'd try it far beyond a place like this.

If you actually had a real life, you'd be far less concerned with a blog like this.

6:55 AM  
Blogger dhex said...


If you idiots actually had a real case, you'd try it far beyond a place like this.


were you not blowjob
this might be true; however
blowjob you are yet

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

Well, I wasn't here yesterday, Jennifer.

I make time when I can.

11:39 AM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

Including, apparently, making time JUST to inform you how very little time he has. I am oh-so-convinced.

Pathetic.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Well, AR, he thinks he's making a Principled Stand For Liberty by trolling here. Maybe he's hoping that after his 10,000th unwanted post, they'll put up a statue in his honor.

Of course, I have my doubts, personally. If you can't even manage to make it on your own without moving out from under the sheltering roof of your Mommy and Daddy, how can you expect people to believe you can stand tall without having the support of The State?

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You set the mood, Jenny-poo. Billy saw where it was headed before you did, and skipped past the bullshit right to the end. Really, you're not pissed about any supposed threat, you're pissed that you didn't get to finish the dance.

kb

12:29 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Hey, Anonymous, aren't you supposed to be defending Billy's brave "asshole to cumcatcher" statement? Seriously: takes a fine and admirable man to type such things. You'd think such a wordsmith would've been able to get a writing job--or even a burger-flipping job--ANY job that would enable him to move out of his parents' house.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"If you can't even manage to make it on your own without moving out from under the sheltering roof of your Mommy and Daddy, how can you expect people to believe you can stand tall without having the support of The State?"

Your premise is still ignorant bullshit, but even if it were true: what possible difference could it make to you, honey? Have you got a commie do-gooder in your pocket and itching to get out, or what?

"Seriously: takes a fine and admirable man to type such things."

...to a net.cum-catcher. You is what you is, kiddo.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You mean like this:

Well, "asshole to throat" lacks a certain je ne sais quoi, so it was an original and skillful turn of phrase.

?

1:02 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

So, Billy, you troll my blog because being man enough to earn a living is just too hard?

Incidentally, I've checked around a bit and discovered that your posts here do meet the legal qualification of "threats." Be careful. You might have anarchists' qualms about calling the police to take care of annoyances for you, but I do not.

1:09 PM  
Blogger dhex said...

i can roll my eyes
but when i close them tightly
the haircut remains

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"So, Billy, you troll my blog because being man enough to earn a living is just too hard?"

{hah} I e-mailed set designs as PDF's, the other night, to four cities on two continents. Checks arrive in the mail when I do that. By last week in January, I'll be checked into a nice room in Tokyo, all expenses paid and turning a lovely dollar -- which nobody but me will touch, I hasten to add. Where'll you be, baby? Hmm? Visiting the hairdresser's paint-booth for the afternoon?

"...but I do not."

Well, quit running your yap and make the most of it.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

Beck is hooked on Jen
Why does he talk the way he does?
Did Sheila like that?

3:58 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Damn, Billy, and here I thought you'd actually behave yourself. I guess that is a sad commentary on me wanting to believe people actually are worth something.

As for this shit for brains comment:

Billy saw where it was headed before you did, and skipped past the bullshit right to the end.

The only "saw where it was headed" was where Billy decided to take it. Basically, "I'm Billy, I can see where this is headed, because I'm taking it there and fuck all y'all who don't want to go with me".

By last week in January, I'll be checked into a nice room in Tokyo, all expenses paid and turning a lovely dollar -- which nobody but me will touch, I hasten to add.

I'm glad male prostitution suits you so well. Not particularly what my chosen field would be, but to each thier own. Why don't you skip on down the road then and don't let the door hit you in the ass (as you'll need it for other things later) on the way out.

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

"I'm glad male prostitution suits you so well."

Well, it's gotta be better than you beating your wife and raping your kids. I mean, you're still doing that, aren't you?

6:29 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Billy, I am asking you, politely, to leave.

6:35 PM  
Blogger dhex said...

hey when did you stop
beating your wife bodily
(spiritually)

9:58 PM  
Blogger Jake said...

Billy is fifty
Yet inside he is thirteen
Pathetic man-child

7:17 AM  
Anonymous Billy Beck said...

Can you see how easy it might have been, Jennifer? You could have saved yourself a lot of your own bullshit if you'd kept your head in the beginning.

You're getting off cheap.

I'll see you around the campus, Baby.

10:19 AM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

"You're getting off cheap."

Unlike Billy, who is probably getting off to the tune of 500 untaxed FR notes an hour.

*zing*

Oh, but seriously, it is really funny that you're acting like you did anything, and are furthermore somehow doling out benevolent favors by ceasing to be a total asshole.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Ayn_Randian said...

I also assume that Billy is going to use *gasp* a U.S. Passport to somehow get back in to the country; and fill out the dreaded Statist Customs Forms.

I suppose he hasn't really shrugged after all; but we all knew that.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

It is amazing sometimes that people's knowledge of rules seems to be so in depth, like they know from experience or something.

11:43 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Yeah, Moose, I think I know what you mean.

==============

Jennifer? If it means anything, I think you are imbued with a great deal of real class, lady. I mean that sincerely.

11:59 AM  
Blogger dhex said...

this is getting off
cheap; think about the expense
we could have incurred

what is that from space?
it is the dreaded douche chills
damn it's cold in here

1:10 PM  
Blogger VikingMoose said...

PILLY PECKER PWND!!!!!!!!!!!

ha ha.

neener neener.

(it was the feared, beloved URKOBOLD who had the last word on "that" thread. With a cute little message to Pilly and his Pathetic Pack)

10:49 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

(it was the feared, beloved URKOBOLD who had the last word on "that" thread. With a cute little message to Pilly and his Pathetic Pack)

Hey, I thought I got the privelege of the last word?

12:13 PM  

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