The 2012 Election: Predictions And Hints

There’s less than two months left until Election ’08 and for the first time in American history, it looks like our next Presidential/Vice-Presidential pairing will be some combination other than “two white males.” Four years from now, if either major party decides to run Two White Males on its ticket this will be hailed as a major step backwards for America’s oppressed classes.

The Republican Party platform will contain at least one plank of psychosexual uptightness disguised as social policy. Perhaps it will still involve gay people. It definitely won’t involve teen pregnancy.

The Democratic candidates will all speak out loudly against the loathsome bills proposed by Republicans. However, when these bills come up before the House or Senate, the Democrats will nonetheless vote them into law.

I’ll be old enough to Constitutionally run for president, yet young enough to still be the Youngest President Ever. I will also have the continued ability to save any ticket from the dreaded “Two White Males” label.

I’ll be old enough to Constitutionally run for president, yet young enough to still be the Youngest President Ever. I will also have the continued ability to save any ticket from the dreaded “Two White Males” label.

I repeated that last paragraph for no apparent reason, although I figure if you missed it the first time it’s a good thing you got a second chance to see it. Ahem.