Saturday, September 06, 2008

Hanna Powering Down

The tattered remnants of Hurricane Hanna just entered my corner of New England. Since I live in a neighborhood filled with aboveground utility poles that fall over if you so much as sneeze on them, I’m giving 60 percent odds that I’ll spend a good chunk of this evening basting in a hot, humid, non-air-conditioned apartment where the rain won’t even let me open a window to let in a little fresh air.

And since the lights have already started flickering a bit, I’d better hurry and post this before losing power. A couple random observations unconnected by transitional devices since I lack the time to create them:

-- They say it’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness. As a talented multi-tasker I’m capable of doing both, but considering the temperature I’d rather avoid open flames, regress back to childhood and read by flashlight. At least I won’t have to hide under the bedcovers to do it.

-- If time travel’s ever invented, I’m going to find the guy who first decided that words like “hot” and “steamy” should be synonymous with “sexually appealing,” and slap the stupid right out of him.

-- I sincerely hope a bolt of lightning strikes my next-door neighbor’s hypersensitive car alarm and fries the components right out of it. However, as a kind soul who tries to avoid wishing harm on people, I’m trying to figure out a way this can happen without also frying out the rest of his car.

-- My attempts to do this have met with utter failure. I blame the heat.

-- That said, the worst I’m likely to suffer is a few hours of inconvenience and mild discomfort. Folks in places like Baton Rouge, Louisiana, apparently have it far worse.

Lights flickered again. Rain’s getting loud. I’m turning off and unplugging my computer. See y’all when I get back online.


Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Yeah, that would suck. Getting your home ripped up by a hurricane with a name that sounds like a gay German model. Gustav is just not a name we associate with severe property damage, it sounds more like a guy who knocks over a tray of Perrier and pouts in his dressing room.

No wonder the media didn't follow Gustav's rain of terror... See, you can't even type the words with a strait face. You just can't make Gustav sound like a serious thing.

The only reason for the New Orleans angle was the possibility of history repeating itself, which media types just can't pass up an opportunity to point out. It makes them seem more profound and wise doncha' know.

11:42 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

"Ike" however, has a lot more damage potential. Just ask Tina.

BTW, headlamps are cheap and work better than flashlights.

5:17 AM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

See. Now I would run from a hurricane named "Ike" but not from "Gustav". What homo in the hurricane center thought that would be a good name for a potentially devastating storm system.

If you saw "Ike is coming" as a headline you'd think "gee, maybe I'd better get ready, maybe even get out of town." When you see "Gustav is coming" you think "well, better make sure my espresso machine is working and have some of those marzipan cookies he likes."

5:37 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

No wonder the media didn't follow Gustav's rain of terror... See, you can't even type the words with a strait face. You just can't make Gustav sound like a serious thing.

Yeah, because nobody with a German-sounding name could POSSIBLY be capable of evil. Hyuk, hyuk.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Oh come on Jennifer. When someone says the name "Gustav" you don't think "Adolf Hitler" you think "Zoolander".

11:57 AM  
Anonymous Jeff P said...

Well, I for one don't find Mahler, Flaubert, or Dore particularly gay.
Hell, if the storm had been made of shit from Gustav Dore's art it would have been terrifying.

And supposedly Gustav means Staff of the Goths, so even if it was gay it would be confused-emo-kid-in-mascara gay, not "whoops, don't mind me girls!" gay.

7:30 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Gustav means Staff of the Goths
Gustav is coming
with a strait face

(assuming "Straight", as in "Straight but not narrow")

4:50 AM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

Yeah, "staff of the Goths" is the first thing everyone thinks of when someone says "Gustav". So anyone with a PhD in European History would be frightened of such a name. The rest of us see an effeminate German model prancing on the runway showing off clothes we can't afford.

6:19 AM  
Anonymous A moose said...

The rest of us see an effeminate German model prancing on the runway showing off clothes we can't afford.

Actually, personal opinion is that yer overstating it a bit, just for feedback.

Jennifer-Was it anything more than just rain? Here we got about an inch and a quarter of rain, a bit of wind, and that's about it. No power loss, no drama.

7:13 AM  
Anonymous a moose said...

A non gay sex link for CML. Well, at least not such that people around you would know.....

3:27 PM  
Blogger Caveman Lawyer said...

What's next, Hurricane Skippy?

These guys in the Hurricane Center need to get out more.

4:46 PM  
Anonymous Zoidburg said...

Thanks for the shout out to Baton Rouge. We just got power back here on my street yesterday, but much of the city is still out. Debris is everywhere. there is hardly a peice of proberty in town without a 10 to 15 ft high pile of tree debris in front of it, and many homes with much damage. Getting gas around here has been a nightmare the past week, the hours long lines at the pumps have finally gone away. Time to think about moving to Portland

8:32 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Geez, Zoidburg, that's awful. Glad to hear that you personally are all right, though.

I was lucky enough to not lose power. Ironically enough, almost as soon as I made this blog post the lights stopped flickering. However, there were lots of scare-warnings in the local media: "OMG tornado warning! Flash flood warning! Aaaigh!"

8:11 AM  

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