Erma Bombeck Has Nothing To Fear
Whenever I throw a holiday party I greet my guests at the door, express sincere happiness at their arrival, then lie to them. "Please excuse the mess," I say, making a vague gesture to encompass the house I'd been cleaning frantically all the previous week. "You know how hectic holidays are."Technically speaking, this is not a lie but two completely unrelated sentences that just happen to be close together. If people mistakenly assume a connection — that the holidays rather than my own bad habits are responsible for any lapse in neatness standards — well, I never say anything because a good hostess knows it's rude to contradict guests, especially when they're just arriving at your party.
6 Comments:
Technically speaking, this is not a lie but two completely unrelated sentences that just happen to be close together.
I wasn't aware you were planning a carreer in politics - what position will you be seeking? :-)
So it's no surprise that the helpful household hints article I wrote for the latest issue of Life@Home magazine goes horribly, tragically wrong.
What's wrong with it? I think it's quite witty. Hope they paid you some money for it.
Witty, yes, but God help anyone who follows it.
And hell yes, they paid me!
As for my political ambitions, I'm thinking "Empress" would be a good fit for me.
If well compensated, I am an excellent yes man, Empress...
I will refrain from any comments on Jen's domestic skills.
I will mention that she wears the pants. The really, really small pants.
I have wisely chosen to visit other people for the holidays once again. I'll bring them some food and flowers. Took me about 1/2 hour to buy it all.
Post a Comment
<< Home