Friday, September 17, 2010

Masturbation: An Actual Non-Ironic Political Issue

As a patriotic American, whenever I masturbate I levitate in the direction of Washington, DC whilst singing The Star-Spangled Banner. (It requires split-second timing to hit the crescendo in the "land of the free" before the diminuendo at the "home of the brave," but I am indeed awesome enough to ... uh ... pull it off.)

Since Tea Party darling and Republican senatorial candidate Christine O'Donnell doesn't do any of this, I can only conclude she hates America.


Anonymous Cap'n NoStar said...

There's nothing wrong with masturbation, as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

9:45 PM  
Blogger Don't Ask said...

classic comment captain

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Jeff P said...

This election day I intend to visit several patriotic websites.

4:31 AM  
Anonymous Sean said...

I'd rub one out to a photo of Christine, but she is not my type

10:12 PM  
Blogger Dave-o-ramA said...

"but I am indeed awesome enough to ... uh ... pull it off."

Rub it in, will you?

1:16 PM  

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