Wednesday, July 06, 2011

TSA And the Silicone Threat: I Told You So

Your Humble Blogress' blog post from September 9, 2006:
Why hasn’t some enterprising terrorist outfitted a flat-chested female suicide bomber with plastic-explosive breast implants yet? The beauty of a plan like that (from a villainous mastermind perspective) is, even if the plot fails in the sense that the bombs are discovered before they can be set off, it will be a success in terms of terrorizing the population. Consider: the infidel government has already banned certain foods and all beverages, toothpastes, hair-styling products, and anything else that might theoretically be an explosive in disguise. If the government discovered an implant plot, its overreaction would do more to disrupt American air travel than detonating a nuke at O'Hare.
Today, the TSA has decided that's a threat worth fearing:
The government has warned airlines that terrorists are considering surgically implanting explosives into people in an attempt to circumvent screening procedures, according to U.S. officials.

There is no indication of an immediate plot, but the new information could lead to additional screening procedures at the nation’s airports. Existing scanners would not necessarily detect bombs implanted under a person’s skin, experts said.
I can no longer make jokes about TSA cavity searches and the like, for the same reason I can't make jokes about how, come December, I'll probably have the heat rather than the air-conditioning on in my apartment: because there's nothing funny about a straightforward prediction/observation.

My country has gone absolutely, spectacularly, stark-raving mad, assaulting law-abiding travelers under the guise of protecting them.


Anonymous TedTheJackal said...

Way ahead of you. Wrote a few days ago-

And this is my idea: The Anti Cavity Search League ... which would be the ACSL. Need a vowel or two in there. Anyway, random casual cavity searches are about the only thing left for the government to go ahead and do (or so I like to think), so if the public is going to make a stand (so to speak) then this is maybe the last thing left to do it about. Somebody needs to get on this. While it's still a joke.

11:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The only safe way to determine if breasts have implants that could be explosive is by hand and eye inspection. Some breasts may require extensive "observation" to be sure and possibly many "experts" to make a decision. For the sake of public safety and to help save our country I volunteer to be a breast inspector at my local airport. My only request is that I not be required to wear rubber glove.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

The only safe way to determine if breasts have implants that could be explosive is by hand and eye inspection.

But one has to be very careful even then - after all, they could be booby-trapped. :-)

12:09 AM  
Anonymous Lisa Simeone said...

From the Washington Post, re the EPIC lawsuit that began on March 10, 2011:

Tatel and Judge Karen Henderson questioned whether the TSA would be within its authority to determine one day that the security threat required that all passengers be strip searched.
Brinkmann said TSA could make such a determination without public input, as it did with the body scanners.
But she said both are subject to the court's review, and in the case of the strip search, "I think you'd have an overwhelming Fourth Amendment claim."

Oh, great, so you'd have to go to court after you were strip-searched -- yeah, there's a comfort!

2:39 PM  
Blogger rhhardin said...

Iowahawk twitters "TSA prevents another attack by Al Qindergarten."

Go the ridicule route.

4:28 PM  

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