Saturday, July 22, 2006

What Can Ayn Rand Teach Us About Sex?

No, this isn’t an excuse to poke fun at the masochistic overtones in Rand’s sex scenes, but a serious question that a reporter from Nerve magazine asked patrons in New York’s Fountainhead Café.

Now, I’m a libertarian, not an Objectivist, but a lot of people can’t tell the difference so anything that shines a good light on Objectivists is bound to reflect well off me, too. Thus, via Thoreau at Grylliade comes this (possibly not safe for work) article, Sex Advice From Objectivists.

It’s not often that you hear “Ayn Rand” and “healthy sex life” in the same non-ironic phrase, but the Randian patrons of the café had some good advice to offer. A 28-year-old man answered the question “What can Ayn Rand teach us about sex?” with the following:

It's hard to reconcile the way she describes her own fantasies in her books, which are very violent. But there are some things she can teach you. The thing I took away from her was that the people you're sleeping with mean something, and sex is the most honest form of expression that's out there. If you're a slut and you're sleeping with anything that walks, there's a reason for that.

And from a 33-year-old:

That it's not just a meeting of bodies, but also of minds. Find someone you can admire personally as well as physically. The sex will be sexier and you'll feel better in the morning.

Amen, brother. There were other questions as well, answered with a humanness which belies Objectivists’ (and by extension, mellower libertarians’) reputation for inhuman coldness:

I over-analyze sex while in the midst of it. How can I stop thinking and enjoy the moment? Spend more time in teasing and foreplay, building up your sexual energy rather than thinking about how to get somewhere. Don't have sex until you're absolutely crazy with passion. Once you do, look right into your partner's eyes so there's no escaping the meaning of your connection together. Move slowly, and forget about the orgasm — it'll take care of itself.

Then, of course, there were questions whose answers were exactly what you’d expect in a joke article titled “What Can Ayn Rand Teach Us About Sex?”:

My boyfriend wants oral sex. The act doesn't disgust me, but I don't love it. Should I give him head just because he's my boyfriend? Yeah, probably once and [sic] a while. If you have a pretty good understanding of economics, you can certainly arrange some kind of mutually advantageous trade.


Anonymous Jay Andrew Allen said...

My favorite was the guy who said he would (reluctantly!) try a threesome if his gf could give him "good reasons" for her wanting one. Priceless. :)

9:35 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

What would qualify as a good reason, I wonder? "You can't make a decent sandwich with only one slice of bread?"

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Abidemi said...

"It's fun."

10:40 PM  
Anonymous speedwell said...

That, abidemi, is exactly what my mom told me when, as a ten-year-old enfant terrible, I asked her what about sex made grownups so obsessed with it.

11:18 AM  
Anonymous just another vile wag said...

[What would qualify as a good reason, I wonder? "You can't make a decent sandwich with only one slice of bread?"]

How about: "I don't like a wish sandwich"? You know...when you've got two slices of bread and you "wish" you had a "piece of meat" to put between them? :-)

5:00 AM  

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