Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Mainely Rainy

Greetings from scenic Bangor (pronounced "Banga"), Maine, currently undergoing torrential rain since Mother Nature knew I had a vacation scheduled for this week. (Actually, the original plan was to go last week, though I postponed that to attend the Liberty Forum. Since I neglected to inform Mother Nature of my change in plans, Hurricane Kyle, Maine's first hurricane in nearly 20 years, struck the state the same day I was originally scheduled to arrive.)

I have to get up at five a.m. to go to Baa Haabaa and catch the ferry to Halifax, but here's a couple quick notes before I crash into bed:

--Shortly after crossing the state line I saw a sign informing me I was now entering the Maine State Game Preserve. "That's a brilliant idea," I observed to my Traveling Companion. "Every game preserve should have a six-lane Interstate highway cutting through it. That'll help the animals evolve to learn car avoidance." A few miles later came the first of several signs warning motorists to watch out for moose. "Never mind," I said.

--This is my third consecutive vacation marred by inclement weather. There's got to be some way I can make money off this. How about: send me a boxful of unmarked bills or I'll schedule my next vacation for where you live. "Saaaay, this is a nice house you got here. Wouldn't want anything happen to it. Sure would be a shame if a flash flood washed it out to sea. Sure would suck if an earthquake knocked it over. Sure would alter the course of human history if an asteroid fell out of the sky and squashed that sucker flat ...."

--Those of you in Texas need not pay me anything, partially because y'all have suffered enough, what with Ike whomping you a few weeks back, but mainly because there's no way I could make anybody seriously believe I'm planning to take a vacation in Texas.

P.S. I just learned the hard way that our hotel is right next to an airport where some extremely noisy airplanes are wont to land. I'll be viewing Nova Scotia tomorrow through eyelids at half-mast.


Anonymous smartass sob said...

Well if you were to ever visit Texas, this would be the best time of year to do so - this or early Spring. That's when the weather is nicest. Thing is - if you were to drive here all the way from New England, by the time you arrived it would be time to turn around and start back, unless you had several weeks off. Of course, if you were to get on the freeway system of one of the large cities, you might not ever find your way out of Texas - they were built as a tribute to the Flying Spagetti Monster. Leastways they seem as though they were. Be sure to read a copy of that seminal work "Eight Days On the Beltway - A Traveler's Terrifying Tale of Being Lost In the Freeway Maze of Houston." :-)

ps: Should you ever visit Texas, don't bring a cowboy hat unless it's rodeo season - they haven't generally been in fashion for about fifteen years - except among foreign dignitaries and such. ;-)

pps: Oh yeah, I forgot - bring money.

4:49 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Oops! Meant to tell you to have a nice vacation in New Scotland. ;-)

4:54 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

But, did you have to take your shirt off in a parking lot this time? (for those of us who've been 'round long enough to remember...)

11:54 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Hell no, Moose. It's been too cold for that here.

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Make an offer to the State of California. The perrenial drought problem in the northern half of the state is probably worth several billion dollars to alleviate...

8:15 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

FREE hit counter and Internet traffic statistics from