“I was sad about not having any shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.” Considering how many shoes I own, that maxim doesn’t really apply to me. But this one does: “I was sad about having to spend Christmas Eve disinstalling an annoying malware program from my computer, until I checked my blog stats and discovered there are people who spent their Christmas day doing Google searches for things like ‘octopus Japanese porn
’ and ‘you porn tentacle
.’ Even worse, instead of finding pictures of hot squid-on-chick action, these poor lonely souls were directed to one of my old blog posts
Anyway, I hope you had a Merry Christmas. Unless you’re the jackass who wrote that malware program, in which case I hope your tentacle shrivels up and falls off.