Normal People vs. Characters In Bad Novels
Here's how normal people talk: "I went to the store today. Christ, gas is expensive! Damn this economy."
Here's how characters in bad novels express the same concept: "I went to the store today and drove my car which, as you know, is a form of transport powered by an internal combustion engine fueled by a petroleum distillate called 'gasoline.' On this trip I went to a 'gas station,' a specialized fuel store where early twenty-first-century Americans like me are wont to fuel up our cars, and I was and am dismayed to report that gas is more expensive than usual, partially due to the effects of oil depletion but also due to the current economic crisis which, as you know, has its roots in the popping of the housing bubble of the last decade and the dot-com bubble before that...."
I don't believe in an afterlife but I still know Hell exists, as I'm posting this from Hell's own couch.