Sunday, June 24, 2012

Get The Hell Off My Lawn

I've had responsibility for a lawn for over half a week now, and have decided that when I buy a house, I'm going to uproot every plant on the property, remove three feet of topsoil, replace it with rock salt, top that with a layer of the most toxic herbicide available to ordinary citizens (unless I can score something stronger on the black market), then put a Zen rock garden over it all. Screw having a lawn; I'd rather have a life.


Anonymous Wayne said...

Welcome to the world of 'home ownership'. yeah, I know, you don't own your home but...

Isn't this a condo you are in now? Don't they take care of that stuff?

7:57 AM  
Blogger Kevin Carson said...

Lawns were originally introduced by the English gentry as a form of conspicuous consumption: to show that, unlike the peasants, they could afford to devote a significant portion of their grounds to purely ornamental display rather than surrounding their homes with kitchen gardens.

Ornamental landscaping is a total waste IMO. You can bet those raised beds and dwarf fruit trees will be a lot more popular when diesel fuel reaches $12/gallon and the truckers are abandoning those cargoes of California factory-farm produce on the shoulder.

9:02 AM  

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