Sunday, July 15, 2012

A Wish For Well-Behaved Neighbors

Somebody please tell the junebugs it's the middle of July, so the 500 zillion of them within 100 feet of my open window all need to go away and STFU. (Damned things are freaking LOUD. Southern insects are rowdier and ruder than their northern cousins. And there's a hell of a lot more of them because they have waaaaay more kids, doubtless due to the prevalence of abstinence-only sex ed in southern schools, which makes MY TAXES GO UP via sales tax on all the insecticide I keep buying to fight ants and hornets and stinkbugs and creepy-crawlies that I don't even know what they are. Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh, yeah -- the damned junebugs won't shut up, and they're driving me insane.)

posted by Jennifer Abel at 11:44 AM

8 Comments:

Anonymous smartass sob said...

What are you calling June bugs? The ones I'm familiar with don't make any nose at all...except when they bounce off the outside lights at night. I never see them in the daytime.
You aren't talking about cicadas, are you? 'Cuz those things are LOUD, especially in the daytime.

6:36 PM  
Blogger Jennifer Abel said...

Someone said they were junebugs, anyway, Smartass. I haven't seen them; all I know is the fill the trees, they're insanely loud during the day and they get worse at twilight and early evenings. The ones that all make that whirring noise together, rising steadily in pitch until they all wind down at once? I HATE those things.

6:42 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Those would be cicadas. Welcome to the south, Miz Scarlet. :-)

6:49 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

BTW, if you do see a live cicada, it will probably be at night, cuz they are often attracted to outdoor lights. And if you do see one, it will probably scare the crap outa you, cuz they is BIG - almost as big as a hummingbird and they make alot of racket - even just one. They don't bite or anything though, so don't worry. Leastways, I don't think they bite. :-) I've had cats that would catch and eat them though after playing with them for half an hour.

6:58 PM  
Blogger Franklin said...

That's nothing. After a month of no rain, it finally rained every day last week, and that awoke the frogs that had been burrowed underground to survive the drought. They were horny, and their mating croaks are loud.

9:14 PM  
Anonymous Jeff Patterson said...

I thought Cicadas were every 7 years, and the last VA brood was 2004?

9:02 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

I thought Cicadas were every 7 years, and the last VA brood was 2004?

Well it's only 2012 - maybe these were late-bloomers. Or maybe they were just waiting for Jennifer to arrive. :-)

But seriously, they are probably anual or Dog Days Cicadas, which emerge every year in July and August. There are a number of species in North America with life cycles of different lengths.

BTW,I was right - they don't bite or sting per se...unless they inadvertantly mistake you for something good to eat. ;-)

3:56 PM  
Anonymous Artor said...

Post a pic if you catch any of the little fuckers. There's a "june bug" in the eastern US that belongs to the scarab family, with a shiny green shell. It can make quite a squeak when it's pissed off or horny, like right now. The cicadas, which are also active right now, have folded wings and a face that looks like they should be scaled up and booked to fight Godzilla. They make a droning, shrieking buzz that's hard to track to a source, because it's usually coming from all around you, and generally does horrible things to your inner ear.

9:10 PM  

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