Monday, June 25, 2012

TSA: Spilling Grandpa's Ashes All Over The Constitution

This just in: TSA is so determined to molest innocent Americans, even being dead and cremated isn't enough to protect us.

The minimum starting salary for TSAgents is $8.21 an hour ($17,083 per year divided by 2,080 hours, or fifty-two forty-hour weeks). The McDonald's near my old house in Connecticut offered a higher starting wage than that, but it also required a high school diploma where the TSA does not.

That's who's molesting you and your kids when you're fool enough to go to the airport these days: people who lack the educational qualifications to pursue a more lucrative career in the field of burger-flipping, and the moral qualifications to make them refrain from acts of sexual assault.

Once you understand "These people are literally too stupid to work in fast food" (let alone grok the difference between sound and radio waves), their behavior becomes far less baffling. Consider the nameless TSAgent in this story (they're always nameless agents, because if you know people's names you can hold them accountable, and accountability violates every principle TSA holds dear), who opened a crematory urn, spilled human remains on the floor and laughed at the anguished relative who tried to sweep them up:
John Gross, a resident of Indianapolis' south side, was leaving Florida with the remains of his grandfather -- Mario Mark Marcaletti, a Sicilian immigrant who worked for the Penn Central Railroad in central Indiana -- in a tightly sealed jar marked "Human Remains."

Gross said he didn't think he'd have a problem, until he ran into a TSA agent at the Orlando airport.

"They opened up my bag, and I told them, 'Please, be careful. These are my grandpa's ashes,'" Gross told RTV6's Norman Cox.

"She picked up the jar. She opened it up. I was told later on that she had no right to even open it, that they could have used other devices, like an X-ray machine."

This is true, according to TSA "regulations" (scare quotes since agents routinely ignore them). But on with Gross' story:
"So she opened it up. She used her finger and was sifting through it. And then she accidentally spilled it."

Gross says about a quarter to a third of the contents spilled on the floor, leaving him frantically trying to gather up as much as he could while anxious passengers waited behind him.

"She didn't apologize. She started laughing. I was on my hands and knees picking up bone fragments. I couldn't pick up all, everything that was lost. I mean, there was a long line behind me."
Of course she didn't apologize. Gross is lucky she didn't try to sue him. He said he wants an apology from the TSA and the agent herself; I want the woman to be fired and charged with desecrating human remains. I expect we'll both be disappointed. She'll continue to wield authority over her fellow Americans, none of whom will even know her name.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

TSA Steals Cremations

7:20 PM  
Blogger 21stCenturyDad said...

My last interaction with the TSA at the airport a couple of months ago while flying to FL. I opt out of the porno picture device and go for the grope. I put my things on the conveyor and I'm instructed to go get groped. I'm getting ready for some groping action as a giant Samoan TSA agent approaches me and says, "What side is your stuff on?" I thought to myself how considerate of him as I point to the left side of my crotch. He looks at me funny and restates, "No, no what side are your belongings on...the left or right conveyor?" OOHH, I get it, I'm the dumbass, right? Thanks TSA.

9:31 PM  
Blogger Jennifer Abel said...

Sounds like standard TSA lack of empathy, "Dad."

I'm guessing his thought process went something like this: "That man is waiting to be groped. I, however, am thinking about where on the conveyor his bags are. I expect the man to know exactly what I am thinking because I, a typical TSA agent, lack the insight necessary to understand that 'telepathy' exists only in science fiction stories."

In other words, understanding things like "Another human being cannot know what I am thinking unless I choose to tell him" requires a level of empathy -- putting yourself in the other person's shoes (before TSA forces him to remove them, at least), of imagining what it is like to BE that person -- but if TSAgents had that level of empathy, they wouldn't be molesting people in the first damned place.

8:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These people are literally too stupid to work in fast food.

Ah, yes. Elitist insults. Reason #469 why nobody takes libertarians seriously.

9:41 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Abel said...

The belief that it's okay for TSA to have lower hiring standards than McDonald's: reason #469 why nobody who isn't a NAMBLA member takes the TSA seriously.

2:27 PM  

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