TSA: Spilling Grandpa's Ashes All Over The Constitution

This just in: TSA is so determined to molest innocent Americans, even being dead and cremated isn't enough to protect us.

The minimum starting salary for TSAgents is $8.21 an hour ($17,083 per year divided by 2,080 hours, or fifty-two forty-hour weeks). The McDonald's near my old house in Connecticut offered a higher starting wage than that, but it also required a high school diploma where the TSA does not.

That's who's molesting you and your kids when you're fool enough to go to the airport these days: people who lack the educational qualifications to pursue a more lucrative career in the field of burger-flipping, and the moral qualifications to make them refrain from acts of sexual assault.

Once you understand "These people are literally too stupid to work in fast food" (let alone grok the difference between sound and radio waves), their behavior becomes far less baffling. Consider the nameless TSAgent in this story (they're always nameless agents, because if you know people's names you can hold them accountable, and accountability violates every principle TSA holds dear), who opened a crematory urn, spilled human remains on the floor and laughed at the anguished relative who tried to sweep them up:

John Gross, a resident of Indianapolis' south side, was leaving Florida with the remains of his grandfather -- Mario Mark Marcaletti, a Sicilian immigrant who worked for the Penn Central Railroad in central Indiana -- in a tightly sealed jar marked "Human Remains."

Gross said he didn't think he'd have a problem, until he ran into a TSA agent at the Orlando airport.

"They opened up my bag, and I told them, 'Please, be careful. These are my grandpa's ashes,'" Gross told RTV6's Norman Cox.

"She picked up the jar. She opened it up. I was told later on that she had no right to even open it, that they could have used other devices, like an X-ray machine."

This is true, according to TSA "regulations" (scare quotes since agents routinely ignore them). But on with Gross' story:

"So she opened it up. She used her finger and was sifting through it. And then she accidentally spilled it."

Gross says about a quarter to a third of the contents spilled on the floor, leaving him frantically trying to gather up as much as he could while anxious passengers waited behind him.

"She didn't apologize. She started laughing. I was on my hands and knees picking up bone fragments. I couldn't pick up all, everything that was lost. I mean, there was a long line behind me."

Of course she didn't apologize. Gross is lucky she didn't try to sue him. He said he wants an apology from the TSA and the agent herself; I want the woman to be fired and charged with desecrating human remains. I expect we'll both be disappointed. She'll continue to wield authority over her fellow Americans, none of whom will even know her name.