Better Late Than Never

I haven't believed in God for many years now, but the God I don't believe in is very much the Americanized Protestant Christian one, which means I measure the dates Jesus wasn't born, wasn't crucified and didn't rise from the dead all by the Gregorian calendar. Orthodox Christianity, however, still measures such things by the old-fashioned Julian calendar, so they don't celebrate Christmas until January 6.

For the purposes of today's post I'll pretend I do the same, because this last-minute gift warning I wrote for Mainstreet.com (which actually went up four days ago, while I was on a road somewhere in New England, to visit friends for the holidays) would still be a current piece.(Confession: my landlady really did gift me some very upscale English muffins for Christmas, which inspired this column.)

Still scrambling for a last-minute holiday gift? Perhaps a Secret Santa offering for a colleague you hardly know? Then buy a scented candle, a decorative paperweight, a coffee mug with a stupid cartoon on it — buy anything except a gift box or basket filled with deluxe gourmet luxury versions of everyday foods. These make cruel presents, especially for recipients trying to be frugal about their grocery costs.

In other delayed news, at the Daily Dot today I reminded everyone that Christmas also marked the official birthday of the Internet.