Let's Go Crazy
Rather than print copies of the new DSM 5, the American Psychiatric Association could've saved a lot of time and paper had it simply emailed every therapist in the nation and said "Being human is a mental disorder."
Henceforth, it is psychologically unhealthy to grieve when someone you love dies. The healthy response is to either not give a damn or rejoice if you're the deceased's insurance beneficiary; otherwise. you have Major Depressive Disorder.
Small children no longer have temper tantrums; they suffer from "Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder."
I am now a binge eater, because (unless I get a very disappointing entree) I usually eat until I'm stuffed when I kick off the weekend with a restaurant visit every Friday, and the DSM 5 says that "excessive eating" 12 times in three months make you a binge eater.
No distinction shall henceforth be made between a hardcore drug addict and a first-time abuser. I wonder how much the DEA bribed them for that diagnosis?
Henceforth, it is psychologically unhealthy to grieve when someone you love dies. The healthy response is to either not give a damn or rejoice if you're the deceased's insurance beneficiary; otherwise. you have Major Depressive Disorder.
Small children no longer have temper tantrums; they suffer from "Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder."
I am now a binge eater, because (unless I get a very disappointing entree) I usually eat until I'm stuffed when I kick off the weekend with a restaurant visit every Friday, and the DSM 5 says that "excessive eating" 12 times in three months make you a binge eater.
No distinction shall henceforth be made between a hardcore drug addict and a first-time abuser. I wonder how much the DEA bribed them for that diagnosis?
posted by Jennifer Abel at 1:49 PM
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