Thursday, January 10, 2008

Airport Inconsistency

Every so often the government puts out a regulation that kinda-sorta makes a little bit of sense. When I discover the regulation’s sensibility halfway through the research phase of an article that’s supposed to be about how the regulation in question is asinine, it leads to a lot of terrifying “oh hell what do I write now” moments that ultimately culminate in stories like this one.


I swear, they did this just to keep me off guard. Bastards.

59 Comments:

Anonymous NoStar said...

I got a charge out of that article.

Hey! Quit hitting me, that's battery.

8:53 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Hey! Quit hitting me, that's battery.

Shocking.

10:31 AM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

A Moose,

Are you positive?

11:47 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

A Moose,

Are you positive?


Negative, not me.

Which brings the question...if you don't have a nonlithium battery, do they let you on anyway simply because of the double negative resisting electron flow?

12:45 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Positively electrifying wit. Hit them both, Jennifer. :-)

3:01 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Positively electrifying wit.

Careful now, I've got my ion you.

4:15 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

What's wrong Smart Ass SOB,

Do you find our puns reVOLTing?

5:02 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Careful now, I've got my ion you.

==========


Do you find our puns reVOLTing?



Both of you:

I find myself alternating between being galvanized to action by your less than magnetic attempts at humour and merely offering passive resistance to it. Rather than impede the flow of the current thread any further, I think I'll just sit here and discharge my high tension by repeating the word "ohm" in a drawn out manner at frequent intervals or cycles.
:-)

6:45 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Also, I realize that punning is just a phase that some of us go through from time to time.

6:49 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

That is to say, the frequency of it varies.

6:56 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Well c'mon - doesn't anyone want to tell me how I've run this whole thing into the ground?
;-)

7:17 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

You're right, SOB,

This line of discussion is terminal.

9:42 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

I'm always up for a pun joust. Just call me the Eveready Punny.

9:47 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

No doubt about it, a thread like this will only appeal to a Diehard.

9:49 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

You're right, SOB,

This line of discussion is terminal.


Oh! What a joule of a pun! I find it to be quite the mental energizer. However, it is late for a Central Time Zone resident, so I fear I must conduct myself to bed rather than let myself be induced to continue this field of endeavor; though I do oscillate between the poles of indecision, I suppose I'll just have to switch it off for now.
;-)

10:38 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Well c'mon - doesn't anyone want to tell me how I've run this whole thing into the ground?

Hey, I was sleeping, it was time to recharge.

2:21 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

...I suppose I'll just have to switch it off for now.

It just hertz too much?

2:22 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Go to your room! Everybody here is grounded.

5:56 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Go to your room! Everybody here is grounded.

Darn, and I had a hot lead for you on a story. I had to pretend I was neutral in order to talk to the current source, though, and deny I was a member of the resistance. Guess I'll have to go grab a guitar and all play with the amps in my room.

7:33 AM  
Anonymous A moose said...

And don't give me any static about not using italics.

7:49 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Go to your room! Everybody here is grounded.

Watts this - an attempt to defuse the situation, or do you just want to short-circuit our efforts to have pun? Will you take punitive measures if we fail to rectify our behavior?

=============

It just hertz too much?

Excellent, Moose! Your potential for this game is amply demonstrated, although it is with great reluctance that I admit that.

============

Nostar, I don't really know how to respond to you unless you can endure a silly question like: Can the energizer punny keep going and going and going?

12:24 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Can the energizer punny keep going and going and going?

Can it write sentences that pun on and on?

12:31 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Can it write sentences that pun on and on?

Even if they don't resonate with the audience?

We all know you're not the author, just a conduit.

Ok, back to work. Night job as a taxi driver, gotta get that Fare-A-Day, dontcha know, or at least the Thevenin equivalent.

12:55 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

Are you talkin' to me?
Are you talkin' to me?
Cuz, if your talkin to me...

1:21 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Ok, back to work. Night job as a taxi driver,...

Hmm, it's a bussy man you are; does that generate much income or any contacts for you? Or do you find yourself to be somewhat insulated?

7:33 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Are you talkin' to me?

Nostar, are you trying to transform the overarcing theme of this thread? I don't understand what you are signaling with your posts. Are you certain you don't have your wires crossed?

7:50 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

:-)
It's odd that we haven't gotten more juice in this thread from the coppertop - she's usually such a dynamo - always in a state of flux. Perhaps she is a farad of being overloaded, but I'm sure she has more capacitance than that.

8:07 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Static interference.

9:12 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Static interference.

I suppose I run the risk of a filter being applied to reduce the noise. I'll just sinewave goodnight.

;-)

10:31 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Ok, at "sinewave", it's apparant that SOB has exceeded his captacitance for electrical or electronic puns. This is too bad, as he had a lot of potential. Perhaps he should stick to writing copy for a NicAD. Watt do you say, SOB? I guess you could just sell the family Joule and discharge all your debts, and just live in the current moment.

5:43 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Ok, at "sinewave", it's apparant that SOB has exceeded his captacitance for electrical or electronic puns.

A "sine wave" is (among other things) the video-graphic representation of the flow of an alternating electrical current on an oscilloscope.

sinewave = si n' wave = sigh and wave

Moose, did you really think you could so easily shunt me aside with such happy-ass B&S, or get away with AWGmenting your own series of puns by re-using mine in parallel? I fear you have failed to properly gauge my power- factor.
I have to say though, the NicAD pun was maganeto. Got anymore feedback?
;-)

8:06 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

A "sine wave" is (among other things) the video-graphic representation of the flow of an alternating electrical current on an oscilloscope.

Really? I had no idea. I thought it wsa what came with the flood after it cleared the interstate, after a cat 5 or at least cat 3 storm. I'll have to send a cable to my old EE profs and my ham radio elmer telling them about this.

I only vaguely remember those classes, probably due to excessive doping, as I was the kind of the semi conductor of the garage band. We finally had to put the ka-bosch on it. There was this redhead woman back then, and I was sporting an enternal hickey. Her name was mANDy or NANDy OR something, and she would always meet me at the GATE after the show. Then there was this other woman, LeeAnn, who she didn't get along with and one time snuck up behind her and said real loudly "BOOLEEANN!, and scared her real bad and we never saw her again.

Yep, those were the good ole days, now I only get to sit in my lazy boy armature and remember them.

[Just in case it's too obscure and SOB is about to blow out an eyeball ;>, a hickey is a type of conduit bending tool. While it's pretty easy to find battery companies, logic gates, computer wire twist rates, and semiconductor terminology, and sin waves are taught in third grade, right?, but a hickey bender is something that one may not know unless you've worked in electrical construction]

4:37 AM  
Anonymous A moose said...

edit="wsa" to "was" in the first line.

4:38 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Then there was this other woman, LeeAnn, who she didn't get along with and one time snuck up behind her and said real loudly "BOOLEEANN!, and scared her real bad and we never saw her again.

Algebraicing my funny bone with that! I've never worked much with conduit, but if you aren't BXing about an "internal hickey", perhaps you should have called an EMT. Though they're often bushed from old-work - too much romexing around looking for NEMA; they can be a real pain in the NEC.
Were those girls two wirey strippers or a pair of dikes? Don't sound as though they were closely coupled. And that "enternal hickey" - was it actually internal or was it eternal? Or was it just a pile? Gotta stay away from those charged couple de vices.
Anyway, you'll have to step up with a better knock-out tool than that, if you wish to short-out my pilot lamps and make me step-down. You need to quit coiling up in that armchair and get some exercise. Go play in the raceway or take a few turns around the squirrel cage. Just don't get too wound-up or tapped about it - don't want you to choke.

;-)

3:09 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

ps: What the hell is a "ham radio elmer?" Or is "elmer" a mis-spelling?

Oh, and for those present besides Moose and myself: "Dikes" is short for diagonal side-cutting pliers.

3:17 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

This is all so far over my head, I get a nosebleed just trying to see it.

4:40 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Oh, Jennifer, you just don't comprehend the "higher dielectric" we're using here.
;-)

5:49 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

Switching to serious mode:

ps: What the hell is a "ham radio elmer?" Or is "elmer" a mis-spelling?

An "Elmer" is a more seasoned ham radio operator who helps one learn the ropes. I, for instance, am an Extra Class operator, the highest level in the US system of licensing. If you were interested in becoming an operator, I would end up showing you the ropes, as well as helping with the electrical engineering involved in passing the progressively harder tests. The Technician isn't so bad, my son passed it at 12 yr old, and his sister at 13 (but they're geeks). The Extra class whipped my butt with three semesters of EE in college (though that was about 17 years before I took the test). I passed it, but going back into resonant frequencies, LC/RC/RLC circuts, etc, was more than slightly difficult. I didn't have an "Elmer", so I didn't have anyone to ask. I have functioned as such for a couple people.

This is all so far over my head, I get a nosebleed just trying to see it.

Translation "Help!! My blog is infested with geeks, and I can't get up!!!"

And you thougth I was only good as a firearms reference. (speaking of which, I just bought a neat M1 Carbine off gunbroker this eve, looking forward to getting my pawz on it)

6:54 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

This is all so far over my head, I get a nosebleed just trying to see it.

Translation "Help!! My blog is infested with geeks, and I can't get up!!!"


Yeah, this is beginning to get pretty esoteric, too much so for anyone not familiar with the technology. Not much point in continuing, if no one understands it. Besides, we're probably boring the hell out of everyone. I'm not surrendering, mind you, but I'll agree to a truce.

So what's the derivation of the word elmer? I was interested in radio as a kid, but I never heard that term before. I don't know all that much about electronics; most of my knowledge has to do with motors, electro-mechanical items, and electrical wiring. I'm not a licensed professional, but I've worked with it all my adult life. Always had a high aptitude for it; I guess that's why the Navy made me an officers' steward for four years. You know how the military is. ;-)

8:31 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Hey, where did Easy Money go...er, the Eveready Punny, I mean?

;-)

8:48 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

So what's the derivation of the word elmer?

Hokay, never mind - I went to Wikkipedia and looked it up. Why I don't remember to do that more often, I don't know - still a newbie, I guess.

9:51 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

I left work early on Friday to be a counselor to the yutes in my church on a winter retreat. Went up to a ranch in the Cascades with a 1000 ft long inner-tubing hill. Thought I was going to have a heart attack climbing that sucker, but the ride down was a blast.

energizer punny aka NoStar

10:51 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Hey, Nostar:

Isn't it a bit chilly in the Cascades this time of year? An innertube slide - you mean like in the snow, right? I'd bet it was fun. I haven't done anything like that since I was eight. Used to slide down the grassy side of a freeway overpass in a cardboard box. (There wasn't any service road or traffic to slide into.) Are you in Oregon or Washington?

11:07 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

SOB,
I'm in central Washington. Our trip took us north of Leavenworth.
Nice powdery snow, temperature was in the high 20's. Perfect conditions, just bundle up.

NS

Btw, I fell in love with a female electrician. I just couldn't resistor.

11:38 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

SOB,
here is a picture of the tube run. It's in the background to the right of the building. (There's a lot more snow up there now,)

http://www.yd.org/stonewater/photos/facilities/gym/6/

cut&paste or click on my name.

11:45 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Btw, I fell in love with a female electrician. I just couldn't resistor.

I'm glad there was no repulsion to start with.

Now TRUCE!!! (before we geek Jennifer out any worse.)

11:48 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

Damn, but it looks cold there. That chalet is an actual timber-framed building? Cool.

11:52 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

That chalet...

The gym, I meant.

11:55 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

I was interested in radio as a kid, but I never heard that term before.

As I said, it's actually pretty easy to get your technician license, and you only need basic knowledge such as V=IR and the like. There's a limited question pool. You can buy books and such, a pretty good resource is here, but the quickest way to get to the exam is to go here and just start taking tests. Eventually, you see all the questions, and if you've had any electronics in the past you're probably ready to pass the exam in less than a week. If not, two weeks, tops. You get a radio here, and find a local VHF repeater and listen for a while to get how to deal with people. If you send an email to Jennifer, she'll give you my email address if you have any questions (Ok, Jennifer?).

5:08 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

As I said, it's actually pretty easy to get your technician license,...

Hey, thanks, Elmer; I mean, Moose! ;-) I appreciate the links, though. I went and looked at them; I even took one of the simple practice tests. I didn't ace it, but I did make a little over 80% on it without trying very hard. If I did some reading to refresh my memory about a few things, I'm sure I wouldn't have any trouble - unless I have to send and receive Morse code. They still make you do that, don't they? I never got around to learning that.

As far as books go, I still have my 1965 yearbook/handbook put out by the Amateur Radio Relay League. I haven't looked at it in many years and I'm sure much of it is out of date - but it's a start. And of course, there's bunches of info on the Internet. Might be fun, if I can find the time. Rather than buy a transceiver, I think it would be a kick to build one from some canabalized electronic gear. I see that stuff thrown in the trash all the time. Hell, one of my computers is one that I put together from several junked ones - and I'm just a newbie at computers.

Thanks again, Moose. And thank-you, Jen, for letting us temporarily turn this into Jennifer's Nerd and Geek page. :-)

2:46 PM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

No Morse, that went the way of the Tandy TRS 80 about a year ago or so. Of course I had to do it, but that's aside.

As I said, not so hard, the ARRL.net site has test locations, or if you email me I'll find some. Building a transciever is dependent upon your technical expertise, they aren't component plug and work things (my main computer downstairs is called Frankenstein on the network...I'm finally throwing out old computer boxes five years old as they have insufficient power, it's rather fun). The old Heathkits are selling for megabucks on Ebay, but these are cool and I've heard good things about.

Anyway, I'll shut up now :x

3:41 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

my main computer downstairs is called Frankenstein on the network

Ha! Good name! The one I put together is called "Dumpster Junk." I seldom play with it and about the only reason I keep it is because it was free and no one would want it. I hate to throw stuff away. I find that I can buy used lease computers on Ebay that are better and cheaper than what I could build from scratch, but of course, one doesn't learn as much that way; I've never owned a brand new machine.

I assembled one of those old Heathkits when I was fourteen with a little help from my ol' man. It was just a three or four band regenerative receiver, but it actually had vacuum tubes and no printed circuit boards. Had to learn the color code for the resistors and everything. And solder stuff together. Long time ago. (Hey, somebody check to see if I'm still breathin'.) Catch y'all later.

4:57 PM  
Anonymous Stevo Darkly said...

No more battery puns?

I say we put it to a volt.

3:09 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

No more battery puns?

Nope, not after we locked up SOB in a cell after getting him to take his lithium again.

5:00 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

No more battery puns?

Nope, not after we locked up SOB in a cell after getting him to take his lithium again.


Don't you believe it for a moment, Stevo - Moose has been at the electrolytes again. He drinks that stuff like it was water, but it eats into his brain like battery acid.

6:21 AM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

Winner of this thread is Smartass SOB for refering to Jennifer as "the coppertop".

10:23 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

It WAS a brilliant snark indeed.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

It WAS a brilliant snark indeed.

Snark?! I meant no offense - I was just trying to work in some battery terminology. But thank-you, just the same. Besides, you have beautiful hair - much nicer than that bottle-blonde whose swimsuit photo you linked to in your next post.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

I meant "snark" as in "clever," not "offensive."

By the way, I'm still waiting to get the recording of my latest radio interview. I WILL put it online once/if I get it.

11:52 AM  

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