Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Ich Bin Ein Repuh (cough) – oh, hell, I can’t say it.

Dear God, I went and did it. At eight minutes after noon on this, the Wednesday before Super Tuesday (and the presidential primary here in Connecticut), I went to city hall and changed my official voter-registration party affiliation from “independent” to “the one where you can vote for Ron Paul.”

Depending on my schedule, I plan to get derepublicanized either the afternoon after I vote in the primary, or first thing next morning. The important thing is that I switch back to “Independent” before 12:08 p.m. next Wednesday, because it’s been scientifically proven that if a woman spends more than a week as a Republican her bra size decreases by a full cup and that mass re-distributes itself on her Adam’s apple. That’s what happened to Ann Coulter.

(And yes, I know Paul’s not going to win. I’m just adding my weight to the movement in hopes of generating enough momentum to keep it going until the next presidential election cycle. Not that Paul himself will run again, but maybe his ideas will resonate enough for someone else to adopt them. At any rate, I’m willing to risk my whole wardrobe’s worth of clingy sweaters on it.)

13 Comments:

Anonymous smartass sob said...

it’s been scientifically proven that if a woman spends more than a week as a Republican her bra size decreases by a full cup and that mass re-distributes itself on her Adam’s apple.

If she spends more than a week as a Democrat, does the mass re-distribute itself below her waist? ala Hillary? :-)

12:20 AM  
Anonymous A Moose said...

If she spends more than a week as a Democrat, does the mass re-distribute itself below her waist? ala Hillary? :-)

It's also a nonlinear distribution, heavily focused towards the area immediately below the waist, and immediately above the ankles.

4:56 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Can't say, Smartass. Living in Connecticut, I can't tell you what Democrats look like for the same reason that fish can't tell you what the ocean looks like.

11:14 AM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

Anything you can't get into your mouth is wasted.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

2:37 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

The goal here is to avoid having any small stuff to sweat over, NoStar.

2:39 PM  
Anonymous smartass sob said...

The goal here is to avoid having any small stuff to sweat over, NoStar.

Or to wear a sweater over? ;-)

6:36 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Especially that, Smartass. These sweaters of mine won't fill themselves, you know.

7:28 PM  
Anonymous NoStar said...

HEY Jen,
I see that Reason H&R has just linked to another story of yours in the Hartford Advocate.

And it wasn't me that tipped them off this time. Your legion of fans must be growing and your stock is rising.

Congratulations. ;~)
NS

4:03 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

embarrassed mumble Mmm, yes, I think he read it off Jim Henley's blog, where Thoreau posted it (I used to be a blogger there too, but dropped away when my job sucked up my time).

On Hit and Run they think I'm too credulous about the 9/11 conspiracies, which nicely offsets the comments on the Advocate where I was too unfair to the 9/11 conspiracies.

4:56 PM  
Anonymous thoreau said...

"Ich Bin Ein Repuh (cough) – oh, hell, I can’t say it."

I believe that the correct German expression is National Socialist, Jennifer.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Yes, Thoreau, but I'm only doing it long enough to qualify for my Volkswagen.

8:41 PM  
Anonymous Kevin Costco said...

Wow, you voted for a racist asshole who wants to end abortion rights. Congratulations!

8:49 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Not yet, Kevin. Wait until Tuesday.

9:45 AM  

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