Monday, July 30, 2012

An Open Letter To All Jennifer Abel Fans

So ... one day back in 2008, I was surprised to suddenly receive a bunch of short, cryptic and encouraging emails: "Good job!" "Way to go!" "You're making us all proud!" and I had no idea what any of them were about until one said something about how I was awesome in Beijing, at which point some quick Googling determined that I share a name with a young Quebecoise who was part of the Canadian Olympic diving team.

Fast forward to today: I'm not even watching the Olympics, yet I know that Canada won its first medal. How do I know this? And who won that medal? Take a wild guess.

This lucky, lucky planet of ours has indeed been blessed with an abundance of Jennifers Abel. However: I was not the Jennifer Abel who went to Beijing in 2008 as part of the Canadian Olympic diving team, nor am I the Jennifer Abel who recently won Canada's first medal in the 2012 London Olympics.

I have received some lovely, flattering and completely misaddressed e-mails, which I would like to forward to their intended recipient except I don't have her email address.

Here is how to tell the difference between me and my namesake in London: one Jennifer Abel is a black-haired, brown-skinned Quebecoise who's good at diving into swimming pools; the other is a red-haired, beige-skinned American who's good at diving into political scandals. (Also, one of the Jennifers Abel could be the other Jennifer Abel's mother, assuming the first Jennifer Abel was really, really stupid as a young teenager. I leave it to you to figure out which is which.)


Anonymous NoStar said...

First you get married and now you claim that you are not THAT Jennifer Able. This must be your summer for breaking hearts and disappointing admirerers.

12:42 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Awww, man! How can I change this Jennifer Abel tattoo?

1:26 PM  

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