Worst. Phone Whore. Ever.

As I mentioned in the comments in the previous post, I'm so incompetent at phone sex that I got fired from the chatline after only one night. But I got enough to write one hell of a story. I gave the draft to my (male) boss yesterday, and I'm guessing we'll have an editorial conference today or tomorrow. That should get interesting: "Jennifer, the fake orgasm in paragraph one sounds a little too fake, don't you think? Wow, you sure say 'God' a lot for an atheist. And I wonder if 'Clintonian acts' might be too obscure a way of saying 'blowjobs.'"

So far the working title is "For A Good Time, Call Jennifer." If y'all can think of anything better, please let me know.

Career Adventures

I just finished my first night working as a phone-sex girl (which I'm doing because it will make a GREAT story for the alt-weekly where I write). Audibly hyperventilating for hours on end is hard work, and you have to drink gallons of water because it's quite dehydrating as well. I think the story will be out next week; my editor and I have to discuss it tomorrow.

I'm guessing tomorrow will be the second day in a row he lets me go home early so I can sit alone in my empty apartment and take obscene phone calls from strangers. Anyway, I'll link to the story here when it's done.

Commies and Furries: I Love My New Job

Yeah, I’m afraid I’ll be posting more sporadically in the future than previously. I left my old job at the staid, boring family newspaper to write instead for an alt-weekly. Last week I wrote a little piece with a blowjob joke in the headline, and this is encouraged in my new work environment! Verily, I am in heaven.

So far, in the past two weeks, I’ve become the only libertarian to register as a non-troll member of a Communist chat forum (because that was the only way to get in touch with this guy I needed to talk to for a story), and today, after clearing it with my boss, I used my work computer and e-mail to join a website for local Furries. (I posted the same picture that’s here on my blog. That might get embarrassing later.)

Anyway, I’m hoping to make contact with the Furries, and convince them to let me talk to and write about them. Meanwhile, I turned in my stories for this week’s issue but have no idea what to write about for next week. I really should try to write something witty and pithy for my blog here, but after being in full-on creative mode all week I only have energy enough to mutter a half-hearted “Bush sucks.” Has he done anything unusually stupid lately? I haven’t been paying attention.

If y’all know of anything cool going on in the western suburbs of Hartford, Connecticut, then for God’s sake let me know.