So What DOES Putin Have on Trump, Anyway?

My friend Ed Brayton, trying and failing to understand Trump's mindset as sane people are wont to do, said today that:

I have been dismissive of the notion that Putin has blackmail material on Trump and that's why he does the things he does. My reasoning has been that so much negative has already come out, what could he possibly have that would do any real damage to Trump? Even if it's the infamous, speculated "pee pee tape," does anyone think that would actually matter? He isn't going to be impeached over that and he knows it. But his behavior has now become so bizarre, so slavish toward Putin, that I'm beginning to doubt that. And if it's true, it has to be something huge, something that scares the hell out of a guy who thinks he's pretty much invincible. I'm having a hard time even imagining what it could be.

Here's my speculation – and I'm honestly not sure how much of this is my own sincere belief and how much is purely a devil's advocate hypothetical, because where Trump is concerned I really don't know what's “reasonable” to expect anymore – it could be that whatever has Trump so scared is actually not such a bad thing, by normal-person standards. 

Consider: people have accused Trump of being “shameless” or being completely unaware of the very notion of being ashamed, yet his behavior clearly shows the exact opposite is true: Trump is obsessed with shame, and with using (or attempting to use) ut as a weapon. Insulting people (especially women) for being “fat” or “ugly” or otherwise failing to meet conventional beauty standards; calling people “loser” or “SAD!!!” as a default criticism; inventing insulting and demeaning nicknames (Little Marco, Lyin' Ted, etc.) for his enemies... his goal is to make people feel ashamed or embarrassed, but instead of finding more “age-appropriate” ways to do that, his immaturity and general lack of self-awareness leads him to rely on techniques more appropriate for an elementary or middle-school student.

Point is, the man does have a very deep awareness of “shame” and “shamefulness”; it's just completely different from the standards most normal adults have. He clearly didn't mind being caught on tape boasting of committing sexual assault, and I doubt he'd be bothered by a sex tape showing him committing adultery – but I wonder how he'd feel about an attempted sex tape showing him unable to get it up? What about a tape where his toupee falls off to expose a cueball-shiny head? Or – given that he has yet to release any recent tax returns – it could be something as relatively petty as “His net worth is measured 'only' in tens of millions of dollars, not hundreds of millions'.” Or even worse (from Trump's perspective): “Barack Hussein 'the Kenyan' Obama has a bigger net worth than Donald Trump.”

By now, I would not be surprised to discover “Trump's bizarre behavior is because he knows Putin holds some very egregious dirt on him” …. but I'd be equally unsurprised to learn “What Putin has on Trump is actually incredibly petty, compared to all the other bad things we already know about him.”