This Blog Entry Should’ve Been Posted Two Days Ago
I know: I should’ve made this blog post two days ago, on Martin Luther King Day. Not only would the “free at last” allusion have been timelier; that’s also when I actually got the job offer. However, “freedom from unemployment” also includes “freedom from excessive amounts of free time,” which is a fancier way of saying “I was too busy to post that night.”
Here’s a nutshell summary of what’s going on: Two months ago, I mentioned that the papers running my Sunday column were going to be shut down unless somebody bought them out. (In fact, last Friday would’ve been their final print day.) But hallelujah, somebody did! Once the papers’ continued existence was assured, the editor talked about taking me on full-time, and on Monday I met with the new owner/publisher and agreed to come on board as the papers’ new Entertainment Editor. However, this won’t become official until all the transfer-of-ownership paperwork is signed, hopefully sometime in the next couple of days.
Meanwhile, I’ve been writing several freelance articles for the papers, and couldn’t post on Monday night because my Boss-To-Be wanted a piece on how to hold an inexpensive wedding in today’s economy. I can answer that in two words – Vegas, baby – but that wouldn’t fill the allotted white space even with the largest font size available, so I had to do actual research instead. (And that research reaffirmed what I already knew: if I ever get hitched, I don’t want to bother with all this complicated planning-and-engraving crap; I’ll just elope to Vegas and hire a gay midget transvestite Elvis impersonator to perform the ceremony, and then after I return home I’ll host a lavish reception at my local Denny’s.)
One of the first professional goals I hope to accomplish in my new job is: get a new photo to replace the horrific one that currently runs with my weekly column. Not since my days of appearing in yearbooks has the world seen a more unflattering shot of me, and I hate that picture with the white-hot intensity of ten thousand suns.