A Supernaturally Awesome Business Opportunity

Atlanta has enough credulous residents (or tourists) that there exist actual businesses whose sole function is to give "ghost tours'" of allegedly haunted spots. I'd really like to ask one of those tour guides about the timeline required for the tragically dead to turn into a ghost -- local haunt-lore is all stories like "This spot is supposedly haunted by the spirit of a woman who died in the Civil War" or "the first black man murdered by a lynch mob in Georgia."

None of them cover more recent tragedies, a la "Here there once stood a trendy nightclub where, in 1979, a man overdosed on cocaine snorted off a supermodel's bare ass while Donna Summer's 'Love to Love You Baby' played on the sound system. Some say that on cloudless nights when the moon is full you can still hear his voice, talking very very VERY fast and saying 'Oh my god darlin' you're so hot and I really really wanna do you but I'm having trouble getting it up right now you think you can lend me a hand sweetheart Jesus CHRIST but you are FINE my wife doesn't understand me BARTENDER gimme a shot of Glenlivet for the li'l lady here...."

Personhood in Alabama (women are silly slutty cattle edition)

An Alabama judge has ruled that a fetus is a "person," in the specific context of letting an Alabama man sue the clinic where his ex-girlfriend had an abortion without his consent. Silly slutty women, thinking their bodies belong to themselves rather than to whichever man most recently stuck his dick into them!

An Alabama county court recognized an aborted fetus as a plaintiff in a lawsuit Tuesday, opening a new chapter in the fight for reproductive rights in the United States.

Madison County probate court Judge Frank Barger allowed Ryan Magers to name the fetus his girlfriend had aborted as a co-plaintiff in his case against Alabama Women's Center. 

The judge's decision to establish an estate for the fetus, allowing the suit to move forward, came four months after the passage of Amendment 2 by voters in a state referendum last November. The law, which passed by 18 percentage points, gives fetuses the same legal rights held by a person under the state constitution.

I did not realize the Alabama constitution grants Person A the right to demand use of Person B's body to stay alive. So if, say, I need a bone marrow transplant to stay alive, and the only possible compatible donor is unwilling to donate, does Alabama law give me the right to FORCE that person to give me some marrow? For all the unpleasantness you must go through to have marrow extracted and given to another, it's far quicker and less unpleasant than staying pregnant for nine months, followed by being in labor for however long.